Fifty Shades: Revenge
by MissAnonymous0102
Summary: Following the release of Jack Hyde and the death of Linc Lincoln, this story is about two unlikely foes teaming up to destroy the very person that took everything away from them. Determined, bitter and with nothing to lose, Jack and Elena seek to destroy everything Christian has. With appearances by all those Christian hurt during his life, this is their revenge story.
1. Prologue

Fifty Shades: Revenge

**Prologue**

"Oh no! Yes, Elliott I'll be right there!"

I could tell he's been crying, it took me a minute before I could even tell it was him. His voice aged, raspy, stained with grief. ! I start reaching for my keys, coat- my knees fail me as I fall to the ground. Christian! What were we fighting about? It was big- huge, no Ana, that doesn't matter now. My body is shaking from the news.

"Mrs. Grey!"

Who was that? I knew the voice but my body refused to see who it was.

"Mrs. Grey, are you alright?"

Such a familiar voice yet, so different. I want to say something but I feel a lump in my throat; muting me of my words. Look up Ana, move Ana, say something!

"Ana! Please-"

I hear the panic in his voice and in an instant I was lifted into familiar arms- Christian? No Ana, Christian isn't here. We fought, what about? I can't remember, why cant I remember? Before my mind stars rationalizing, I was in the car pulling away from Escala. I had to come here. I had to leave him. My poor fifty, in complete bewilderment as I stormed off. Slowly my mind started piecing together the events of last night.

"You did what?!" My voice was octaves higher than it had ever reached.  
"It was a quick meeting Ana, she needed me. She doesn't have anybody else!" Christians voice was small, the "Leila situation" all over again.  
"She needed you?!" My voice was soft but full of rage. How dare he betray me?! He promised me. He knew how I felt about her.  
"Ana please-"  
"Shut the f*** up Grey! Don't you dare try to rationalize this!"

Christian stepped toward me slowly, my arms wrapped around me in a protective manner.

"Ana-"

Before I could control my body, my hand threw up; smacking Christian with my new found and unknown strength across the face. I stood still, rage still running through me, hand burning. He turned and looked at me with the most sadistic fury I've ever witnessed. I stepped back, fear slowly overpowering my rage. He was silent, deathly silent. How long has it been? Minutes, hours? He stood hovering over me, eyes never leaving mine. He wanted to beat the sh*t out of me. After all these years, that part of him never left. He was still fifty shades.

"She's a hard limit Christian!" The words were a whisper through gritted teeth. I'm less intimidated by him now. He wont rationalize this, not this time. His gaze softened, both hands running through his hair.

"For F***s sake Anastasia! I told you she doesn't have anybody. Grace did a good job exiling her from her social circles. She had nobody to turn to she-"  
"She had you! How many times Christian?!"  
"What? This was the first time since your pregnancy Ana. Christ, you think I visit her often?!"  
"No! I thought you didn't visit her at all! What the f*** were you doing with that bitch troll in the first place?!"

He looked at me with familiar eyes, I knew he wasn't going to say anything. I stormed upstairs, grabbing the first suitcase in hands reach and throwing every piece of clothing inside it.

"What the f*** are you doing Ana!?"

If he doesn't want to tell me then I wont be here. I refuse to be here with this- this Judas. I feel his hand on my waist, time hasn't changed, his touch still radiates through me. No- I shove his hand away from me.

"Ana please, you can't leave me, it was nothing." Desperation obvious in his tone. Don't look at him Ana. If I look, I crumble. I marched to my purse and pulled out a handful of now wrinkled photos and threw them at him.

"These don't look like nothing Christian! You told me you had a business meeting!"  
"It was! That was it, these photos mean nothing." He turns one over of him opening a door for Elena. " Who the f*** sent you these?!"

My thoughts were interrupted by Sawyer. The familiar voice in this new disturbing turn of events. He opens the door and it's just now I realize the rain. He's holding the door open but my body refuses to move. I have to go find him. I'm grateful that Elliott and Kate took the kids yesterday. The kids, where were they? My body jumped up in high alert. I have to find them! I run inside the ER and straight to the help desk.

"Grey, I'm here for Grey!" The words consume me, the tears silently running down my cheeks.

"Ana!" Mia was at my side within seconds, was she here the whole time? Where was she? She threw her arms around my neck in deep sobs. "He's gone Ana, they lost him!"

*Authors note. This is my first FanFiction so please, be kind. The timing of this story will be revealed however, I did want people to know this story takes place significantly further in the future after Fifty Shades Freed.


	2. Chapter 1

_Six months before_

From: Anastasia Grey

Subject: Daughters 14 Birthday Wishes

Date: July 28, 2028 9:54 AM

To: Christian Grey

Mr. Grey

Your loving and exasperating daughter has called me five times since I dropped her off at the youth center. She would like a gift every day for the next fourteen days. I believe one of us has spoiled her terribly!

Anastasia Grey

Non-Spoiling CEO, Grey Publishing

From: Christian Grey

Subject: Guilty As Charged

Date: July 28, 2028 10:01AM

To: Anastasia Grey

Mrs. Grey

My children will never know how it feels to want. What gift shall we present her today?

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.

I shake my head at the email and gather my things for my next meeting.

From: Anastasia Grey

Subject: No Gifts

Date: July 28, 2028 11:12 PM

To: Christian Grey

Mr. Grey

I don't think we should cave in. She's turning fourteen, we told her last year that was the end of gifts before her birthday. If we must, we can give her a present the of her birthday and one at her party. There really is no need for fourteen presents. She will never work or make a living if you continue to give her what she wants and when.

CEO, Grey Publishing

P.S- I'm ready to leave, I will be at your office momentarily.

I carelessly put my phone in my purse and collect my documents and walk down the hall to Christians office. I laugh at the memory of moving my office to the Holdings Inc. building. Christian was quite the... fifty shades that day. I shake off the memory and walk right in.

"New receptionist?" I ask as I casually take a seat at the far end of his office.

"Yes, my wife had a problem with the last. Something about her hair I think?" He stifles a laugh.

"Oh, that jealous hag. Are you too busy to leave early?

Without answering he picks up his phone and tells someone he'll be leaving and to move his meetings around to accommodate. I look puzzled at his call."

"Christian if you were busy plea-"

"We aim to please Mrs. Grey."

He opens his arm and I slide my arm through his, walking out of the office and onto the bright Seattle sun I can't help but smile. We left an hour ahead of out plans and it's nice to have it alone with my husband. Things have been perfect for so long, it's hard to remember all the drama from years ago. Christian reaches his cell phone and places to his ear, distracting me from my thoughtless day dreams.

"What?! Since when? Do we know where he is? He's not out yet? When? Ok, keep me updated."

I stop and look at him confused. Christian stares at me sympathetically, uncertain if he should tell me the matter of his call.

"Ana, Jack-"

"No! He still has..." I try to calculate the time. I had forgotten all about him and his stunts nearly sixteen years ago. How can he be out already? I thought he was in for longer... much longer.

"Hyde isn't out yet. He does have a board he's going to see. If they find him fit to enter society, Ana he might be released early."

I can barely think straight, how did life catch up so quickly? We talked about what we would do if Hyde was ever released but I cant remember the plan. I clinch my side at the memory. The look of his eyes, demonic and black. It was his voice though, I will never get his voice out of my head, I shiver and Christian looks over at me.

"I wont let him near us Ana. I've planned this out for a very long time."

We pull up to the youth center and Phoebe jumps into the car.

"Where's your brother?"

She looks at Christian and giggles. "He's with his girlfriend!"

"What girlfriend?!" I sound panicked as Christian laughs at my sudden outburst. I open the door to step out. "I'll be right back."

"Baby, you'll make him angry if he spots you."

I pause, weighing his statement. I know he's right, Theodore has his fathers rage and handsomely; unnecessary good looks. His phone is ringing from one desperate girls call to the next. I sigh in complete defeat and move my legs back in the car just in time to see Teddy walking out of the school, arm around a pretty blonde with a skirt too short.

"Teddy come! We have matters to attend." Christian was near the steps of the building, rushing his son to the car. Teddy looked back and yelled something to the blonde. Since he was twelve years old he has been seen with crowds of young girls catering to his ego. Teddy gets into the car and laughs.

"You couldn't give me two more seconds dad?"

"No, you'll give your mother a heart attack if you bring one more girl home."

"Aw mom, she's just a fri-"

"They are all 'just friends' teddy. You should treat women with more respect. Leading these poor girls on! What happen to Crystal? I really did like her. She was good for y-"

"Mom, can we just talk about why I was pulled from football early?"

Completely exasperating, like someone else I know. Christian explains that we're meeting the rest of the family for Grandpa Carricks birthday.

It was nice to be out on the boat again. The kids love it, Teddy already helping and perfecting his sailing. Seeing everybody smiling and laughing, it's been too long. Now Christian and I stand in the middle of Escala, our get away when other family members have the children. Thank God for Elliot and Kate because, I've been missing the red room.

"Well Mrs. Grey, what would you like to do?"

"Mr. Grey, you already know."

I feel Christians hands on my skirts zipper.

"This skirts makes your ass look fantastic Ana."

"You should see it without the skirt." I smirk at him, turning my head to face him as I bite my bottom lip, slowly, seductively.

Time stands still between Christian and I. Wrapped in the after glow of rough kinky love making. Just like a fine wine, this moment we share, this unconventional way of love just gets better with time. We gave up safe words ages ago. He knows my body, the reactions and timing better than I do. He knows how much pain my body can handle and I trust him to deliver, close enough to the breaking point. I never got over his touch, I'll never get over the control he has of my body.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Christians voice break through the silence.

"I was just thinking about how this never gets old. How you will always have a power over my body."

"And you over mine." He kisses me, rough, round two.

I jump out of my sleep, momentarily confused. Where am I? I look around to see Christians bedroom, he must have carried me downstairs. Not bad for an old man, I laugh of the thought. He may be in his mid forties but, his body hasn't aged a bit. I see the light from the hall and hear Christians voice in the distant. What time is it? I glance at the alarm, nearly three in the morning, who could he possibly be talking to? I get myself out of bed, grabbing my robe and walk down the hall to his office.

"Suicide? Are you sure? He tried to do what?! Holy Christ! How long did he plan that out?"

I knock on his door and he turns to look at me.

"I'll call you later to get more details. Yes, I've woken up my wife." He hangs up without a good bye and looks at me cautiously. Why?

"What was that about?"

"A friend of a friends committed suicide."

I gasp in horror. "Did I know them?"

"No Ana, it's late, lets get some sleep?"

"Mr. Grey, what exactly are you questioning?" I let my robe drop to the floor, exposing my naked body as I turn slowly and leave the office.


	3. Chapter 2

_*Authors Note- I know the first chapter seemed rushed, sorry about that. I needed a filler before we can get to the really good stuff. This story starts up really quickly and starts to become one dramatic (sometimes traumatic) event after the next. If you could please just bear with me, I promise, I have no plans of dragging the foundation of future events out too long. I have so many ideas but unfortunately, things need to be explained and key characters (re)introduced. _

**Chapter Two**

"Your not giving me gifts?!" Phoebe with all her trained dramatics is almost amusing. Hands in a fist, practiced tears running down her cheeks. "Daddy don't you want to make me happy? It's my birthday! You gave Teddy everything he's ever asked for, I'm only asking for fourteen small little presents that represent how much you love me!"

"Bee, you know we love you. Your much older now and we're afraid we might have spoiled you a little too much. You can have a present on your birthday and on the day of your party, end of discussion."

She storms off, dramatically stomping up the stairs and to her room, she knows better than to slam the door. Christian walk off slightly irritated and looks at his phone. He's been looking at his phone more than usual, he never texts back or answers but, he's constantly looking at it.

"Teddy go upstairs, let me speak to your father." Without a second thought he takes his laptop and makes his way to his bedroom. "Christian what's wrong? You've been checking that thing all day." He looks away, contemplating? He hasn't hid a single thing from me for sixteen years, why would he start now?

"Christian, look at me."

"Ana, I'm just worried about Hyde. I was thinking we could go overseas for the rest of the summer."

"Teddy still has football, Bee has soccer and dance. You know how much she loves to dance, we cant tear her away from that. Did they let him out?"

"I don't know yet Ana. You should have killed that f****!"

Christians phone goes off and he looks at me panicked before he turns it off and throws it in his pocket. My heart sinks, what is he hiding? He can't possibly be working on my birthday so early and anything for Phoebe's birthday he'd work out with me. Before I can question him he calls for Teddy and they are off outside to fly modeled planes. I pick up my phone to call Kate and as soon as I unlock it an unknown blocked number calls. Hopefully this is the England office confirming my new publishing dates.

"Anastasia Grey" There's complete silence. "Hello, is anybody there?"

"Anastasia? Mrs. Grey?"

"Yes, this is she."

"What do you have that I don't?"

-click-

Chills run up and down my spine as I listen to the dial tone... no, this can't be. The voice was too familiar. Haunting. I slam the phone down. Leila? The name has a foul taste to my tongue. How did she get my number? Why is she calling me? In panic mode, I dial Christian.

"Mrs. Grey, how can I help you?"

"Leila..." My breathing is uneven and my tone almost a whisper.

"What!?" I hear Christian before I see him, putting his phone down on the counter.

"She just called me. It was a blocked number."

Christian takes my phone and goes to his office. Hours passed and I kissed Theodore and Phoebe good night and ran myself a bath. What is he doing? He's been in there almost all day. I pour myself some tea and about to head toward his office until I hear his phone vibrating on the counter. I glance at the clock, 10:20, who would be calling him now? I glance down, blocked number. This has to be Leila, I pick it up now with fury. This insane b**** has the audacity to call my husband?!

"Christian Grey's phone!"

-click-

The dial tone brings me some comfort. I'm glad she didn't say anything. I would have cussed her into next week. I'm not as fragile any more Leila. I'm not as easily intimidated!

"What the hell are you doing?!" Christians voice makes me jump. "Ana why are you looking through my phone?!"

What?! Why is he acting like this? Before I could explain myself he snatches his phone from my hand. He's hiding something. He never gets angry at me answering his phone. He usually encourages it. Something changed.

"Christian what are you hiding?"

"I'm going to bed." With that, he turned on his heel and walked to the bedroom.

The next morning Christian was out of the house before I woke up. Where could he be on a Sunday? I pick up the phone and call him.

'Christian Grey, I'm attending to other matters, leave a brief message.'

"Christian this is your wife, where are you!?"

I hang up and head downstairs to see Carlene finishing my tea. "Tea Mrs. Grey?"

"Were you at the Taylors this morning?"

"Yes ma'am. Mrs. Taylor still hasn't adjusted to my new schedule. She insist on making her own coffee and breakfast." We both laugh at the idea of Gail letting someone else cook in her kitchen.

"Could you make the kids and I some breakfast quiche? You can wake them when the food is finished, I'll be next door with Ga- Mrs. Taylor."

I walk over to Jason and Gails house and knock on the door. Gail has barely aged, she hardly knows what to do with herself since Christian forced her retirement. The memory of her falling off the ladder and breaking her wrist was Christians undoing. Not very retired for someone who still watches the kids and cooks us dinner every other Sunday and Thursday. I've come to cherish our friendship.

"Ana? Is everything ok?" Worry etched across her face.

"Oh, yes Gail, did Taylor go with Christian this morning?"

"I believe so, something about Welch. I'm not even sure I'm supposed to tell you this. Please come in."

I walk in and for the next hour I tell her what's been worrying me. Hyde might be granted freedom. Leila calling me, Christians strange behavior.

"Oh Ana, it's been so long. I'm sure Hyde wouldn't do anything and Christian and Jason would never let a single thing hurt you and the kids. I don't know about that Leila though. Now if I've never seen crazy before, she showed me." We both laughed, I felt like I was there for centuries when the car finally pulled up. Moments later Jason and Christian walk in.

"Carlene told me you came over here, is everything OK?"

Gail and I sat up, traces of laughter still on our faces. "Just girlfriends catching up."

The rest of the day went by slow, Christian refused to speak about Leila or Hyde. His phone never went off and if it did, he never reached for it. We took the kids and went out on the boat again. Teddy helping his dad with the sails and Phoebe sunbathing in the way again.

"If you don't move I'll push you in Bee!"

"Hey Teddy idea, shut up!" Teddy swoops down and picks Phoebe in his arms and walks toward the edge of the boat. "Daddy! Make him stop!"

"Teddy put your sister down!"

"Sure dad!" He acts like he's about to throw Phoebe off the boat when Christian stands between him and the side railing. I can't help but laugh at Christian. He had to have known he was just joking. Teddy puts Phoebe down and looks at Christian.

"Awe dad I was just kidding! Hey, can we stay on the boat tonight?"

Christian looks at me and I grin from ear to ear at the thought. I love staying on the boat. Nothing, nobody matters when we're here. We finally eat and settle on a large hammock toward the front of the boat to watch the sunset. We spend the rest of the night enjoying each others company. My perfect little family cut off from the rest of the world.

"Daddy, can you and mom stay home tomorrow? I'd like to learn to sail... If your up to it."

Christian has never been more proud. He agrees without hesitation and they turn back to their jokes and sports talk.

The next day was another perfect day, spending a Monday out on the sea with my family, disconnected from the outside world was exactly what I needed to clear my head. I trust Christian, he has never given me a reason to think otherwise.

"It's party time!" Phoebe runs downstairs to see her favorite breakfast of french toast, eggs and sausage. "Aunt Mia! Your here!"

"Of course darling, I need to help with the last minute party details! Whatever my precious niece wants today, she gets, on a gold in crested platter!"

Phoebe sits down and hashes the rest of the last minute party details. Ethan and Christian walk in and they both kiss Phoebe on the head and wish her a happy birthday. Christian kisses me and steals an egg off my plate. He's been in such a good mood lately. A lot better than a couple weeks ago. Ethan is holding their second child Cameron. A handsome, blond hair green eyed five year old with every bit of Mia's rambunctious attitude. Their oldest is twelve year old Carrie. Black hair like her mother with her fathers green eyes and laid back personality.

There have been decorators, caterers, movers, designers and a very bossy Mia running around the house and yard all day. Seattle weather was in our favor with a little heat but the cool breeze made the summer weather absolutely perfect. It's nearly five and everybody's getting ready for the party. Phoebe's putting on her light blue dress and heels, her hair and make up perfection. Around 5:40, car after car starts pulling up to the house. Boys in dress suites and girls with their best party dresses. Phoebe insisted on having a "grown up" masquerade ball. Mia set up a fake open bar serving virgin cocktails and daiquiris. In the far end of the stage is a professional DJ, recommended by Kate. This brings me back to Grace and Carricks charity gala. My face blushes as I remember the metal balls and Christians bedroom. Mia did an excellent job setting everything up, Grace obviously taught her very well. Ushers are seating the guest and Christian and I take the stage.

"Good evening ladies, gents. As we celebrate Phoebes birthday we just want to take a second to thank everybody for joining us today on this important day of celebration." Christian steps back and hands me the microphone.

"With no further ado, I present our birthday girl, Phoebe Grey!"

Phoebe struts down an isle of flowers making her way through outburst of applaud. She takes her seat and the waitresses brings out trays of food. We find our seat at the big table with the rest of the family. Time passes when everybody finishes their food, stopping as different guest come and wish Phoebe a happy birthday in person. As dinner comes to a close Carrick and Grace make their way to the stage, wishing their granddaughter a happy birthday with a video montage of Phoebe through the years. Then Elliott and Kate present their gift to Phoebe, a five day soccer camp in upstate Washington. Christian cringes and I let out a lough. Mia and Ethan were next with their gift, three tickets to see one of Phoebes favorite bands with backstage passes. Seriously, nobody ever heard of a gift card? When they finish a band comes out to play as all the kids run to the stage, snapping photos and dancing. It took a half hour before we could finally present Phoebes cake and another two of dancing and enjoying each others company. We finally get everybody to settle down as Christian and I make our way to stage.

"Before we end the night we'd like to invite Phoebe up to the stage."Teddy escorts his little sister to the stage and helps her up the steps. "Phoebe your mother and I have been racking our brains on what to give you for your birthday but, there seems to only be one thing you have truly wanted." Phoebe looks confused as we present her a little envelope. She opens it and instantly starts crying. "I get to study dance in England? Are you sure? I've asked for so long! Thank you!" She grabs us in a hug. "When do I go?"

"We'll talk about everything tomorrow."

She releases the hug and wipes her eyes. Grace, Mia and Kate are all wiping tears. Christian looks like he wants to grab the airline tickets and note and rip it up. I'm not sure what made him agree to our precious baby girl flying to England, it's almost like he wants her to- Oh, no! It dawns on me why Christian was so acceptable of the gift, Jack Hyde has been released.


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

I jump out of sleep, the heat. I'm so hot, sweat creeping down my brow. Christian is wrapped around me like his life depends on it. He still does this, after every fight he falls asleep clinging to me. Why wont he tell me what's going on!? Tomorrow Teddy and Phoebe leave for England. My heart skips a beat at the thought. I cant believe it's almost been a month already. A month, and he still hasn't told me anything. Why is he still hiding things. What is he hiding!? I close my eyes trying to remember the conversation, it was after the party. Everybody had left and Mia orchestrated a great clean up from the staff. It only took them a half hour, Mia really is great party planner. After getting all the gifts inside we spent another hour letting Bee open some of her gifts. Purses, luggage, jewelry, endless amounts of clothes, new technology, dance shoes, hats... she didn't even get through all of them before she started falling asleep. Teddy told us he'll tuck her in. I remember thinking how unbelievably lucky we were for Teddy. He picked up his little sister as gently as ever and walked her over so we can kiss her good night, I gave Teddy a loving kiss on the cheek and he made his way upstairs. Now that we were alone I knew I had to talk to him. When did he know about Jack? What does he know about Leila? I had so many questions and I didn't understand why he chooses now to start hiding things.

"Mia really did go all out for that party, didn't she?" He shot me that all American boy smile that only Christian Grey could perfect with age.

"Yea, your sister should think about starting a catering and event planning business." He stops and cocks his head to the side as if weighing the idea out.

"You know what, I'll talk to her about it. I mean, naturally I could help her start it. She must be getting bored playing house mom. Don't get me wrong, Ethan makes more than enough but... I think she'll like that idea."

"I wonder if Ethan would like that though." I think about his reaction if Mia starts working again. Who knew Ethan would turn into such a over protected Christian style dad? I laugh at the memory of him with Carrie. Nobody was allowed to touch. Kate and him almost had an all out brawl! I laugh out lough again, unable to contain the humor.

"What's funny?"

"I was just remember Ethan with newborn Carrie."

"Ahh yes, he was quite the over protector, wasn't he?" He laughs at the memory. OK Grey, it's time for some answer. Just rip the bandage off.

"How long have you known?"

"Known what Ana?"

"About Hyde being released?"

Christian say's nothing, he walks up to me pushing me against the kitchen counter, hands slowly, gently rubbing up my thigh. He steps closer, his groin against me. He slides me up and sits me on the counter kissing my neck, slowly sucking my earlobe. I try to hush a moan but my body betrays me. His hand slides up my thighs, under the material of my dress.

"Christian, please. We need to talk." He works his hand to my sex, not bothering to slide my panties over he presses his thumb slowly against my cl*t. I moan, slowly, quietly as I feel him, gently moving his thumb in circles, pressing harder through my panties. I tilt my head back, biting my bottom lip, trying hard to compress the moans. He knows he still owns my body. He will always own my body. He kisses my chin, slowly, barely touching my skin, he slides the tip of his tongue down my neck. His free hand works its way to the zipper on the back of my dress.

"Ahhh gross! Stop!"

"Oh shit."

Christian jumps away from me and I jump off the counter and dash into the pantry. A panicked Teddy throws his hands to his face and turns to run but miscalculates and slams himself right into the door frame of the kitchen.

"Why are you guys doing this in the kitchen! The counter?! Oh man, that shit if f***ing gross!" He jumps up and runs up the stairs slamming his bedroom door. I hear Christian laughing on the other side of the pantry door.

"Uhm, can I ask what's funny Christian!?" The horror and embarrassment clear in my voice.

"Mrs. Grey, would you like to come out of the pantry?"

"Augh, no. Just give me a minute." I put my head in my hands in complete disgust of myself. "How long was he standing there?! Oh God, what if he tells someone?! Should we talk to... oh no, I can't talk to him. Christian you need to talk to him."

"What!? What the f**** would I talk to him about!?"

"What do you mean?! You could, I don't know. Explain... I mean not explain but you know. Talk about... Oh shit, I don't know!"

"Ana" humor evident in his tone, "he knows about it, trust me."

"What the hell does that mean Christian!?"

"I've caught him with a girl on the boat." I gasp at the horror, the thought of my precious innocent little boy!

"No, I'm sure they were just making out!"

"No baby, trust me. I'm sure she wasn't his first or last either."

"What?! Christian! Why didn't you tell me!? Did you ground him?"

"He was safe, we talked about the consequences and the importance of the woman's feelings and how messy things could get if he starts jumping from one girl to the next."

"What about abstinence!?" I walk out of the pantry with my hands placed on my hips, a stance I stole from Kate. "What about, he's going to have a baby if he has... you know... 'it' or STI's Christian. Did you tell him he'll get aids and die!" Christians laughing at me, uncontrollably which lights an anger in me. "Christian Grey this is not funny!"

"Aww baby," He pouts his lips out and pulls me until I'm leaning against his body. "He's sixteen. We talked about hormones and respecting the person he's with. We talked about protection and every consequence imaginable. I even made him volunteer at a nursery so he could see how hard dealing with babies are and you know what? He was great with the babies. He already know the risks and he's careful. He's very careful. Ana-" He stops and I look up at him, he looks confused, in awe? It's hard to tell what he's thinking.

"Well don't leave me hanging now Mr. Grey."

"He's me if I had a better upbringing." His whispered voice was almost a confession? An epiphany?

"What do you mean?" He kisses me on my forehead and puts his finger under my chin to tilt my head up at him.

"Just know he's careful. He respects these girls as best as he can and he lets them know ahead of time what he expects from them or what they should expect from him afterwards."

"Oh God! Stop, I don't want to hear this! Ahh, my poor little baby boy."

It was like that for the next week and a half, his constant distraction. I didn't get anything out of him. My body a prisoner to his touch. Well Mrs. Grey, you think you'd have more control over your urges. I shake my head in complete disgust of myself. I start walking to Christians office when I see a group of four or five men in suites walk in. He must have a meeting. Something was off about these men though. They seems, bigger? Stronger and younger than most. Like a child, I ducked behind an office plant when I realized the receptionist looking at me with complete confusion.

"Mrs. Grey? Are you OK?"

I flush red and look back at her, desperately trying to come up with a reason why I was hiding.

"Oh, yes, just checking this plant. It needs water." I turn and dash for my office, once inside I slump into my chair and put my head down on the desk. After the work day Christian and I get into one of many of his cars and I decide this is it. Now or never.

"Christian-"

"How was your day?"

"Oh, uhm, well it was good. I need-"

"Miss. Gates told me you were hiding behind a office plant?" I turn three shades of red and look down, hands knotted on my lap.

"I was checking if it needed water. Christian how long have you known about Jack?" Silence. Twenty minutes has passed and he say's nothing. We're almost home. "Christian how long?" Impatience taking over my voice.

"The day before Bee's party." What? That long? Why didn't he tell me?! "Welch called me and needed to see me. Jason and I flew out to him. He told us about Hyde being released and his where about. He talked about Leila, She's in California and is being impossible to contact. They've been talking-"

"Who? Whose been talking?!" I'm starting to go into panic mode. I have a family to worry about now. It's not just Christian and I anymore.

"Hyde contacted Leila in prison. She's visited him a few times."

"Why am I just learning about this?!"

"After ten years of nothing, I stopped tracking the both of them. Hyde waited until about a year ago to reach out to her." He shook his and looked like he wanted to say something.

"What is it Christian? What aren't you telling me?"

"I was thinking Teddy can go to London with Bee, just for a little while. You can go too. I know your working on deals over there and it would give me time to figure out what Hyde is planning to do with Leila."

"I'm not leaving you here. I'll agree to Teddy and Bee but, I'm not running." I said it matter a factually and Christian didn't press the issue.

My memory once again interrupted at the amount of heat radiating from Christian. I look down and he's staring at me, complete fascination with his big, bright gray eyes. He moves from me and sits up, he slowly grabs my and kisses the back.

"I'm sorry Ana. Your right, I need to talk to you more. Everything I'm doing now is to keep track on Leila and Hyde. I know they've been meeting with someone but, I don't know who." He sighs in relief. "I didn't want to worry you. I thought it'd be better if you didn't know everything. I still want you to go with Teddy and Bee tom-"

"I said no Christian. It's you and me. It was you and me from the beginning and we're going to finish this, you and me."

The next morning I go downstairs to see Christian and Teddy talking. It was a serious conversation and Christians poster was the same as it was negotiating contracts in his work office.

"Dad, I'm good at reading people, I can't leave knowing something here is wrong."

"Theodore, your mother and I are fine. We just need some time alo-"

"There more to it dad. C'mon, I've learn from the best, I can tell when someone is bullshitting me."

"You need to watch your mouth. Your mother would kill us both if she knew you talked like that. Theodore I wont lie to you. There is something your mother and I need to work on and we can only do that with you and Bee in a..." he looked as if searching for the right work, "safer place."

"I can take care of myself. You know Grandma Grace wont let anything happen to Bee. I can help you. I'm no longer a kid. I can be useful." Christians poster didn't change. "You questioned me when I started the youth center and lets be honest. That thing became a huge money maker. I'm good at making decisions. I'm smart in that way, how my mind works, it's like you dad."

"Yes," Christian never sounded more proud. "You've made some wise investments since interning at the company. Theodore, this is very different. I need you to trust me. I also need you to keep Grandma Grace and Bee safe. They're going to need you in London and your my eyes, ears and muscle."

"Dad-"

"End of discussion Teddy. Please," in desperate tone, Christian turns to Teddy and grabs his shoulders. "You have to keep them safe."

I cough while walking toward the kitchen. They both look at me and I can see Teddy with his father face of exasperation. They really do look alike, Christian was right. Teddy is who his father would be if the start of his life were better. I remember the day Teddy wanted to work with Christian. He was filled with all these ideas, he negotiated his way right through Grey Holdings. I grab some food off the plate heater and sit beside Teddy. We talk about the things he's packed and where on the plane he'll be sitting.

"Why aren't we taking the jet? We aren't going broke are we?" He laughed at his dad and jokingly jabbed his elbow in Christians chest. He never flinched from them. His body never rejected them. He was so worried during my pregnancy but, as soon as he held Teddy for the first time. He knew there was never going to be a part of him that rejected his children.

"If I keep letting you open up businesses I will be." Christian joked back and his fifty shades were gone. The traces of our argument last night vanished.

"Mom!" Phoebe had the worst habit of yelling from every room she was in.

"Bee I'm not going to keep telling you to come downstairs if you want to talk!" We exchanged conversation like this until she finally gave up and headed down to the dining room. She talked in a panic about how she couldn't find a certain sweater and how she doesn't have the right clothes or shoes for London. Christian of course, encouraged her spoiled tendencies by agreeing to a shopping spree when she got there.

"Oh, there's something wrong with my plane ticket. It says coach." She laughs at the thought.

"It's not a mistake Bee. Grandma Grace thinks it would be a good idea for you to gain the experience.

"Coach?! All the way to London!" She picks up her cell and dials for Grace as she runs upstairs. Everybody at the table but Phoebe knew Christian was lying. Nobody would every think Christian Grey would let his children ride anything less than the best. They wont trace them to coach. Everything is also under a different alias. 'It's to keep you from paparazzi' explained Christian. Teddy knew before Christian said it that it was a lie. He was so observant, reading people like an open book.

"We'll be OK dad. Just get me home before the first football game." The anguish on Teddy's face was too close to my breaking point. How was a blessed with such a son. So understanding, protecting, selfless. He knew he wouldn't be back before the school year. He was giving up so much. I broke down and wrapped my arms around my son. I wanted so badly to comfort him but in this moment, it was quiet the opposite.

"Aww mom, we'll be OK. I wont let anything happen to us." This was a promise. There were no trace of fear or doubt. He was as sure of himself as CEO Christian.

We stood there for over a half hour. When everybody was packed and ready, Carrick and Grace pulled up to the house. We got all the luggage in and made our way to the airport. We drove up past all the entrances and was let in through a private gate. Kept in a secret room while we waited for the flight everybody made promises to write and call. Phoebe was still crying over riding coach. I couldn't help but laugh at her. The was ready to take off and we made our final tearful good byes. The ride back with Carrick and Christian was silent. It's just Christian and I again. Staying in Escala for a little while. We didn't want to risk sending attention to the house. Everything still went through Escala. As far as anybody knew, it was a public building people rented for events. No possible trace back to our ownership except through Gia but, who signed an NDA when she first started work for us. I shook the thought of out of mind. In a couple days we'll head back to the waterfront house. As for right now, I'm glad to be in this familiar place.

"Christian, Ana, are you hungry?" I turn to see Gail smiling, sipping some wine.

"Gail? What are you doing here?" My voice was filled with too much excitement. I was just happy to see a familiar face. I felt youthful again. Memories of my first night here with Christian. The love he made to me. The contract, I flinch at that and like always, Christian reaches out to grab me. His telepathy stronger than ever. He presses a button and Ed Sheeran, Give Me Love is playing through the house speaker. Christian pulls me closer and my head rest on his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

'Give a little time to me...'

Christian's voice is angelic. He sweeps me across the room with perfect grace. I've learned to follow, more comfortable with my body. The music going a little faster, instruments in the background become stronger, Sheerans voice becoming a desperate plea and the atmosphere in the room changes. Christian and I stop dancing, we step back from each other, Gail disappeared at one point of the song. Our breathing matching the beat of the song. Suspense, passion building between both of us. I step toward him and he steps back, I cock my head to one side in a very Christian like manner. I step again and he steps back. The song repeats and he's looking at me with a wolfish grin. Again, I step forward and he steps back. He opens the balcony door and steps outside. Confused, I follow as the chorus plays, Christian grabs me, dancing around the Balcony. The song is still very clear out here, the Seattle breeze brings chills down my body as the song turns into a desperate, longing tone again. Christian pushes me against the railing, hiking my skirt up. His eyes are dark as he rips my panties and throws them to the side. He lays me on the glass ground and it literally looks like were about to make love in the middle of the sky. Seattle miles underneath us. Oh no Mr. Grey, I have some pint up emotions to release. I cup my leg underneath his knee and in one hard sweep turn us over. Years of practice to perfect, I make the move look so easy. I bend down and bite Christians bottom lip, he moans from both pain and pleasure as I lean up. I slowly pull my shirt over my arms, his erection strong against my groin. He reaches up to grab my bra but I slam his hands down and adjust myself, pinning his arms to his side with my legs.

"Mrs. Grey you-"

"Shhhh."

I kiss his lips chastely then move down and kiss his neck, swirling my tongue, enjoying the moans and groans coming from deep inside his throat. I kiss his adams apple and thrust my pelvis against his growing erection.

"Ana please..."

That's right Grey, beg for me. I sit up, unbuttoning his pants I pull his erection out and sit on him, not letting him inside me just yet. I grind against his manhood, letting my juices drip on him, I grind harder, faster, feeling him against my cl*t, I'm near my peak. Seeing Seattle under the glass floor and the now cold air against my exposed flesh, I undue the front of my bra and let my breast fall out, I grab my nipples and throw my head back. Christians thrusting his hips toward me, almost violently. My name is harsh and slow between deep moans. He moves his arm in attempt to get loose but slam my hands on his forearms, digging my nails in his skin. He lets out a deep moan as I dig in his skin deeper, stilling his arms, I lift myself and lead his erection inside me. I scream at the feeling of him filling my insides. I rest my palms on his chest, nails digging between chest hair as I start riding him, hard, fast. I throw my head back, tightening myself as I get ready to com-bust.

"Give it to me Ana!" It's not a command, it's a desperate plea. He's begging for it. His harsh, raspy, deep plea for my orgasm. I bite my bottom lip, trying to hold back and failing.

"Ana please!" His breathing is erratic and he's throwing his head on the ground. "F**** Ana!" In perfect unison, we let go at the same time, screaming each others name and I fall completely exhausted to his chest.

"Holy shit Anastasia!" I smile at my accomplishment and barely tilt my head to look at him.

"It only took sixteen years." We laugh and I lose the fight with my eyes as I fall into a sleep.

"Christian!" I throw myself out of bed and Christian jumps turning the night stand lamp on. I'm looking around confused, trying to gather my surroundings. He's here. He's OK. I see the worry in his eyes and I break down. Before he can ask I answer his unspoken question... "You died Christian. We got into the worst fight and I came back here. You came after me but a truck slammed into the side of your car. By the time I got there Mia already said you were gone." My silent tears turned into uncontrollable sobs. My body shaking at the memory. "Christian it was so real. It was like a dream I've never had before. It was because you talked to Elena. I don't even know why she would be in my dream." I could feel his body tense, harden around me. It must be the mention of her name. We never even spoke of her since... well, since Teddy was just a blip.


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

It's been a week since the kids left for England, the house too big, too quiet and too empty. Christian is working late and I'm too tired to wait for him. I begin to retire for the night when I hear a knock on the door. Who could that be? I glance at the clock, 10:33. I walk to the door and look through the peep hole. Oh my God! Sawyer?! I throw open the door.

"Someone asked for a baby sitter?" I laugh and take a good look at him. Oh man, he's aged. Still built like a rock, hair hinting gray strands. Does he look in better shape than last time? No, not possible, is it? Yes, he's definitely in much better shape. Slimmer but stronger.

"Sawyer what are you doing here!?

"Well, Taylor and Mr. Grey called me, said they needed some help and it'd be nice to see a familiar face."

"Oh my, please, come in! I thought you were retired?"

"Yes well, Mr. Grey has always treated me good, when he said he needed someone to look after you, I couldn't say no." We give each other a brief hug and sit in the living room. After everything we've been though, there's nobody else I feel better having with me right now.

"It's so nice to see you Sawyer, did Christian say where you'll be staying?"

"Taylors old place above the garage."

"Oh good, did Christian say anything else?"

"Yes, the NDA's are in his safe upstairs." He smiles knowing we shouldn't have another conversation without his promised discreetness.

I excuse myself and go upstairs. I hear Sawyer briefly tell Taylor he's at the house and he's about to sign the 'document.' I feel so happy, protected. Things must have gotten worse if Christian is adding a daily security. I walk back downstairs and Christian is sitting in the chair next to Sawyer, talking, debriefing. When did he get here? I hand Sawyer the NDA and sit next to Christian. He grabs my hand and kisses the back. We spend another hour catching Sawyer up with everything and I learned a few things by listening in. They no longer know where Hyde is, they still have no idea where Leila is and they are now 100 percent sure that they are working with at least, two other people. My head is getting fuzzy and I'm fighting sleep. I excuse myself and head upstairs. What time is it in London? Too early to call the kids, I shoot Teddy and Phoebe a text and go to sleep.

I wake up to my buzzing phone, I reach over and pick it up, adjusting my eyes to the screen.

From: Christian Grey

Subject: Not Your Birthday

Date: September 13, 2028 8:59AM

To: Anastasia Grey

Mrs. Grey

Just as promised, I did and mentioned nothing on your birthday. You should start paying more attention to your wording. Today is no longer your birthday and I would like to celebrate your 'unbirthday.' Take a shower, find the outfit in the closet then open the box.

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holding Inc.

I smile at the message and crawl out of bed, making my way to the bathroom. Flowers and the scent of lavender take me back a step. Oh my, will he every stop spoiling me? The tub is already filled with water and bubbles and I sink into the perfect temperature. Too excited to savor the bath, I wash up and jump out, making my way to the closet I find an outfit hanging on the body length mirror. A fitted light blue sundress with gypsy style print and some matching sandals. I smile, happy he chose something comfortable. While putting my dress on I hear a noise. What is that? Another noise. I follow the sound and on the floor near the entrance is a big shoe box. It's moving, I told him I didn't want a dog. I open the box and out jumps a little white rabbit wearing a vest and a tiny bow tie. It nearly scares me to death as I jump back and fall on my butt. I pick up a note that fell.

In honor of unbirthdays, follow the white rabbit!

I open the closet door and the rabbit hops out, causing me to chase after him, downstairs pass the living space, across the hall into the kitchen where Ava swoops up the rabbit, all giggles.

"Good morning aunt Ana, happy unbirthday!"

"Good morning love!" I pick her up and give her a big kiss.

"I have a riddle for you, I have keys that make sounds but I don't open doors."

I stop and think for a minute, sounds?

"A piano."

"Yep! You have to go to the piano."

"Ava you know Teddy and Elliott broke the piano." I painfully remember a game of catch happening in the hall. Teddy running to catch the ball, jumping long and landing right on top of the piano, pushing it outside my precious glass window and out onto the deck. The cause of 12 stitches and a broken wrist. _Christian died a thousand deaths that day_. He ran out in the middle of an investment deal, caused us a lot of money.

"You have to think auntie, I can't tell you!" She lets out her hands and gives me my car keys. I look at her confused. "Uncle Chris said to lead you to seventh heaven." I blush knowing exactly what he meant.

Ava and I drove into the city and made our way to Escala. She's the perfect combination of Elliott and Kate. Too beautiful for her own good, Elliott has had to fight off the boys since the first day of school. Sawyer was in the garage and opened Ava's door and then mine.

"Mrs. Grey, happy unbirthday." His smile was refreshing. "I'll be taking miss Ava now." She gives me a huge hug and a kiss and they make their way to another car while I go up the elevator to the penthouse. As soon as I walk in I'm greeted by another smiling face.

"Bee! What are you doing here?!" We run to each other and fall into a hug.

"I've missed you so much mommy! Happy unbirthday!" I can hear the crackle in her voice and we both take a deep breathe, holding back tears as best we can. Well mom, part of your present is a personal breakfast with me!" She has her fathers smile and his cloudy gray eyes. My hair, skin complexion and his chiseled, perfectly shaped face. Soccer and dance is the reasoning behind her very athletic, lean body. With Christians grace and elegance it's no reason she does so well in both. Her and her brother, perfecting everything they do. Athletic stars, fluent in Spanish as well as French, both playing the piano; Teddy perfecting the drums because of Elliott and Mia influenced Bee into the cello. They both read people so well, negotiating with the best of them.

"Well Mrs. Grey, Miss Ava, Christian insisted on pancakes, scrambled eggs and bacon." Gail surprised me with hot plates of breakfast food and freshly squeezed orange juice. Hmmm, this breakfast looks a little too familiar.

"Gail, how long have you been here?" She sets the food down, Phoebe and I dig right in.

"Jason and I like to sneak here sometimes, Christian was more than willing to give us a spare key. After all those years, this place still feels like home. Oh, happy unbirthday Ana." I blush at the unnecessary attention.

"Thank you Gail. I'm glad you and Taylor come here. It's nice someone is preoccupying it."

We finished eating and Phoebe gave me another clue, publishing. We were off to our next destination. Grey Publishing. We pulled up and there with his most perfect smile was my not so baby boy. At sixteen he was nearly as tall as his father, you would have sworn it was him if you didn't look at his sky blue eyes. He stood, talked, walked and acted a lot like his father. More welcoming and a lot more social, but they were two peas in a pod. I jumped out and grabbed him in a hug.

"Teddy!" He hugs me back and kisses my cheek.

"Happy unbirthday mom. We don't have a lot of time, dad told me to drive." I hand him my keys without hesitation, he opens the back door for his sister and then the passenger seat for me. "We have a pretty long drive so, that gives us a lot of time to talk about England." He speeds off and we're on or way to the next mystery spot. The drive was long, if Christian was with us, it would make this day perfect. This is all I want, spending it with the people I love and cherish. The ride was filled with laughter, Phoebe telling us everything about her new school, her dance instructor, soccer, a new boyfriend and how "hot" his accent is. Teddy chimed in with disapproval and some comments about football and his new business course.

"Mom, I really miss Seattle." His voice is low, full of regret when he glances over at me. It hurts me having them so far away. My eyes sting from the tears building up, no, Ana you can't cry in front of them. This is the only way... the safest way. "I mean the girls are nice." He chuckles half joking and I hit him on the arm.

"Teddy you better be behaving yourself out there! Studies, not girls."

"Don't worry mom, I'm not taking anybody on the kitchen counter!" I gasp in embarrassment.

"Theodore Raymond Grey!" He's now laughing at me, the same hysterical laugh his dad made that night. I shake my head is disapproval. Two peas in a pod. We spend the rest of the drive talking about old memories and how much Teddy misses the water and sailing. They told me stories about Grace in London, how easily she fit in'; no matter where they go. It's been hours and I failed to realize where we were until I see the Heathman, there's a line of people at the front of the hotel, my mom and Ray, All the Greys and Kavanaghs. All of my nieces and nephews even the Taylors and Sawyer standing next to Jose and his dad. The tears streamed down my face. As Teddy pulled up, he jumped out and opened his sisters door, Christian walked up and opened mine. He kissed me on the cheek and everybody came over to shower me with love and affection taking turns wishing me a happy unbirthday. My mom spending a little extra time, explaining everything and letting me know she'll be staying for a little while. I wonder why Christian decided on the Heathman when there were so many places in Seattle. He led me inside to the very familiar restaurant where a crowd of old and new friends and co-workers awaited. On a big screen set up in front of a spew of tables was a video playing of me. A montage of me through the years. We sat and ate various plates of food, a waitress set down a plate of oysters and I look down as my face turns red. Christian takes an oyster and puts it to my mouth, not touching me. I feel the shell on my bottom lip as he tilts the oyster in my mouth. He leans over and into my ear he whispers in the most seductive voice. "Just let it slide down your throat." I turn a bright red as I look around the table. Nobody seems to notice. Grace is telling an animated story about shopping with Phoebe in London and like always, she naturally demands their attention.

"Oh yes, Teddy brought the most beautiful little lady over just days before we left." That caught my attention and I look over at Theodore.

"She was just a friend mom. A study buddy."

"Do you need help with your classes?"

"No mom."

"Are you helping her?"

"Yes, yes I am." He smirks and him and Christian exchange a glance. Christian looks dumbfounded and then amused. I look to Christian and shoot him a glare, his expression changes in a heart beat.

The next course is a black cod with asparagus and crushed potatoes. It has become one of my favorite entrées. The next hour people present me with little gifts and well wishes. Christian and the kids go up. Bee walks up to the mic first.

"Hey mom, I just wanted to wish you a happy unbirthday and to let you know how much I appreciate everything you've done and continue to do for me, the sacrifices and the patience. We both know I can be trying at times but you never waiver. Despite everything I've done, the rules I've broken, the time I took your car on a joy ride. Thank you for never giving up on me. Thank you for believing in me. For encouraging me to dream big and fearlessly. You've adopted my dreams as your own and because of you, I can and will accomplish everything and anything. I love you mommy."

She walks off stage and towards me, she opens her hand and there lays my old charm bracelet, I look and see a new little ballerina with the words dream written on the bottom. My eyes swell with un-shed tears as Bee hooks it on my wrist.

"By the way, Teddy stole it, not me." Everybody laughs. She sits down and Teddy makes his way to the mic.

"Yea, she's right, but Dad told me to steal it." Everybody laughs again. "Hey mom, you know I love you. For as long as I can remember you encouraged me to do better, work harder. I excel because you've given me the confidence to do so. You taught me to love literature and sowed the seed of knowledge in me from an early age. I want to say thank you but, that doesn't seem enough. How can I begin to thank the person who fueled the fire inside me. Whose opened doors I didn't know existed. I want you to know that I live my life fearless because you've given me the courage to do so. So, instead of thank you; I'll live. I'll live passionately and courageously. I'll live to be the best possible version of myself because you deserve nothing less from me."

The tears are streaming down my face as I tightly squeeze Phoebes hand. The room is filled with sobs and our table is taking turns discreetly blowing our noises. Theodore makes his way to me and with one graceful sweep, puts a CEO charm on my bracelet? I wipe my eyes and look up at him.

"CEO?"

"I plan on taking over the business mom. Grey Holdings is my dream and I'm going to work myself into that position. Nobodies going to give it to me. I'm going to send dad into retirement and I wanted you to be the first to know. Your always the first to know the things that matter most to me and you'll be the first to meet who matters to me too"

He stands and kisses my tear stained cheek, he turns to turn Christian with a sly grin on his mouth.

"Top that dad."

The room laughs in between sniffles and tears. As Christian walks up to the mic laughing.

"Well Teddy, a worthy challenge as always son." He turns to look at me. "Anastasia, the light to my darkness. I love you, with the deepest darkest parts of my soul your light continues to shine; you've saved me from myself. More importantly, you taught me how to love and how to be loved..." He pauses and takes the mic off the stand. "How to accept love. You boldly took on my demons when I no longer had the strength to do so. Your strength is my lifeline, your very existence breathes life into me. When my world was falling apart you held it up and when I thought you'd given every part of yourself, you gave me more," he looks at Theodore and Phoebe. "you gave me the two best people in my life. Anastasia, I've witnessed miracles in your presence. I became a miracle because of your presence. I've never deserved you." He wipes a tear from my eye and gets down on one knee in front of me. "I've given myself to you already, my life depends solely on you. Thank you, thank you for never giving up. For saving me, saving my family," he glances at Mia, he then turns to look at Elliott and then his parents and then gazes back at me, "thank you for teaching me to be a better brother, a better son and a better father. "He holds up my hand and kisses it, then shifts his hand to my bracelet and puts a 24/7 charm on it. I look up at him puzzled. "To resemble how I feel toward you. I want you to know that 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, my love is growing stronger. No matter where I am or what I'm doing, my passion for you is still consuming me, 24 hours a day, 7 days week. I am still needing you, longing for you. You are my day, my week. Don't ever forget that Ana, your have and will always be my lifeline." He kisses me chastely on the lips, "Twenty four seven always Anastasia." I can see through blurry tears that every woman at our table is now sobbing. Wiping their noses and drying their eyes. I glance at Carrick who quickly wipes a tear from his cheek.

"Twenty four seven Christian. Always." We kiss again and I can't stop the tears from my eyes. With the memories that Heathman holds and getting my bracelet back with these new wonderful charms, my emotions consume me. I thank Phoebe and Teddy again, kiss them both as Christian takes his seat next to me. We spend the next hour hearing from family and close friends then another couple hours on the dance floor.

"How was your unbirthday Mrs. Grey?" He's changing into some pajama bottoms and crawls into the other side of the bed with me.

"Oh, Christian, more than perfect!" I can feel the tears building at the memory of earlier. Christian reaches over and wipes my eyes.

"Are you ready for you next gift?" I nod as he passes me a small box. I open it and see my favorite tie. My face breaks into a huge grin and I jump on Christian kissing him.

The past weekend was perfect, it ended too soon and I'm now back at work. I've hardly been able to talk to Christian all day. Between his meetings and mine, we even missed each other at lunch.

"Mrs. Grey?" I look up to see Miss. Gates at the door, weird, she never leaves her desk.

"Mrs. Grey is here to see you."

"What? Mrs. Grey? Are you sure?

"That's what she says ma'am. She has brown eyes, short blonde hair, slender, about your size-" She gets interrupted by commotion outside near receptionist and we both run out to see what happen. Sawyer and Taylor has the women pushed against desk, cuffing her from the back. I strain to see who it is when she looks up at me and grins. Leila... what the f***k is she doing here!? Fueled by anger I walk up to her.

"What the f***k are you doing here Leila!" In seconds Christian runs out from his office, panic etched on his face, then fury. He marches to Taylor and they're whispering back and fourth, his hands sweeping furiously through his hair. The rage and fury pumping strong through my body. I snatch her from Sawyers grip, surprising everybody in the room I harshly lead her to my office. I throw her in, she trips and fall, no hands to balance herself she lands flat on her face as he short blond wig falls off. I slam my door shut and lock it as all three men run as fast as they can to my office. Christians slamming on the door, yelling my name. I pull Leila up and throw her in a chair.

"What the hell do you want?!" The words are barely audible. Her eyes wide in shock, she doesn't speak.

"I will f*ckin destroy you if you don't say something. I no longer have the patience for you." I throw my hand at her, disgusted at her existence. I hear Christian telling someone to get the spare key.

"What is it Leila?! What do you want?!" I slam my hands down on my desk.

"I-I just wanted to make sure he-"

"Google it bitch!" My voice is loud, barking each word with emphasize. "We gave you a pass, that pass is over and I will send your ass to ja-"

"Anastasia, Christian really has rubbed off on you!" I throw her seat back as she hits her head on the ground and stumbles out, trying to maneuver herself, struggling with the handcuffs. My breathe is erratic, hands balled up into fist next to my side.

"Did Hyde send you?!" The memory of Hyde kicking me sweeps over me and I grab Leila and pull her on her feet and slam her against the wall, my face inches from her's. "Answer my question!"

"Anastasia!" Next thing I know is Sawyer grabbing me and Taylor grabbing Leila and escorting her out of the room. Christian turns to follow and I lunge forward.

"Don't you dare go with her Grey! Don't you f**king think about it!" He looks at me surprised, contemplating.

"I have to Anastasia." He turns and walks down the halls and Sawyer has to grip me tighter as I try with every ounce of my energy to pull away. Sawyer struggles for awhile until I finally start to weaken. My blood pulsing, my heart about to burst from my chest. The thought that this b**** is working with the man who almost killed me. He wanted to kill me. He wanted to tear Christians world apart, starting with me. My blood starts to boil again.

"Ana please, stop fighting me." Sawyer is begging. I start taking deep breathes and Sawyer lets go of me slowly.

"Get the car Sawyer, I'm leaving." The outrage clear in my voice as Sawyer and I walk out of my office there's no sign of Taylor or Christian. Sawyer brings the car quickly, I jump in and I see Sawyer reaching to call Christian.

"Don't you dare call him!" I've never felt this violent before. This unknown hatred suppressed somewhere deep inside me, somewhere dark; a place I've never explored.


	6. Chapter 5

_*Authors note, first I wanted to thank everybody whose been reading, especially the ones who have been faithfully reviewing. Please, don't be afraid to suggest anything in the reviews or through PM. I'm going to start writing via the reviews, just so I can interact better with everybody and get an idea of what you'd like to see or character suggestions. Also, I want people to know if you liked Ana being the impassive always giving in to Christian, this story isn't for you. I decided from the beginning that I wanted to explore Ana's dark side. With everything she's been through and a family to worry about, I wanted to create a side of Ana we haven't been able to see in the original books. It's also an important part of the story line. _

**Chapter 5**

"Where are they Sawyer?" He looks at me through the review mirror, his eyes are begging. He doesn't want to cross that line between Christian and I, it's also not fair that I'm asking him to do so. I shake my head trying to think of where he'd take her. "Take me to Escala." His look doesn't give anything away and as soon as he stops the car I jump out, running to the elevator. I see him calling Taylor or Christian and I don't blame him, I'm always putting him in compromising situations. The elevator stops at the penthouse and the elevator door opens, Taylor is standing there looking at me.

"Ana, please."

"Get out of my way," I push pass him and into the great room, Leila is sitting on the couch and Christian is sitting across from her.

"You want to know, then beat it out of me." She looks over at me, knowing I heard her last sentence. I stop and gasp in horror. She didn't. Surely she isn't this stupid. I feel the violence in me again, that dark area hiding somewhere deep in my soul is rising. My fist ball up and I lunge at her screaming. Christian catches me mid-air and throws me across his shoulder, walking into his bedroom and closing the door.

"What the f*ck Anastasia!?"

"F*ck you Christian, that bitch is mine!" I stop and remember what she said and I look at him, he steps back and I know there's something in my eyes. I can feel the darkness consuming me, turning me into somebody I don't know and I can't stop it. My breathing is low, heavy. I have this urge to go and beat the twat with my six inch stiletto. This new found feeling is exhilarating, scary.

"Ana what's happening to you?"

"I want to hurt her Christian. I want to hurt everybody whose associating with him."

"With who Ana?"

"Hyde, Mr. Jack motherf*cking Hyde." His name doesn't make me flinch this time, it brings my hands into a tighter fist, my heart is steady, slow. The darkness still consuming, blurring my vision slightly and then we hear a knock.

"Mr. Grey." It's Taylor. Christian opens the door and he's pale.

"What?!" My voice is harsh, reflective of the old, all business sixteen years in the pass fifty shades. Taylor is shocked for a second and composes himself.

"Mr. Grey I need to talk t-"

"Talk Jason, tell us!" Christian nods at him, urging him on.

"She's in the pla-" That sends me off, I barge through Taylor and I run up the stairs, grabbing the locked handle and banging on the door. "Leila! Leila open this f*cking door!" Surged by this new feeling, I'm shaking the door, trying to break it down. "Open the door you crazy ass bitch!"

Christian and Taylor stop at the stairs, confused at my outburst. Christian grabs my waist and pulls me to him, he's whispering in my ear, gently running his fingers through my hair. He's trying to bring me back, he's trying to make me weak. I keep thinking about Jack, all those memories from sixteen years ago are flashing through my head, '_I bathed her_.' '_You gold digging slut._' My body feels the harsh blow to my ribs, the feeling of seeing Elizabeth, Christian naturally running to Elena, in the office kitchen, the crash of Charlie Tango. My breathing is deep, my heart is pounding and my blood boiling, this intoxicating darkness. This side of me I've suppressed for so long. All of a sudden I realize I'm losing myself, in this moment I have no idea who I am. Hold on to the good, that light Ana. I'm fighting an internal battle and losing. I hear Christian, "Come back to me Ana. She's nothing." It's that small fragment of sentence, _she's nothing?!_ She's everything I never was, everything I couldn't be and she's in the one room where you and her were one. My memory slips back into my old apartment, Leila's standing there, a gun pointed to me. '_She's sick Ana, she needs help._' '_This isn't about you, its about her._' '_Mr. Grey is paying for my schooling._' '_That's why you're here, to see Christian._' I shake my head violently, these memories are unraveling me. I push Christian away from me I'm slamming my fist on the door. My hands aching in pain but it's a good pain. I'm screaming profanities, telling Leila exactly what I'm going to do when we get her out of the room. The next few minutes happen in slow motion, Christian tells Taylor something and he grabs me, pinning me on the wall as Christian takes the key from Gail, he's entering the room. I stop fighting, every emotion from that day sweeps through me. He's going in. Taylor throws me over his shoulder and takes me downstairs. Her words are echoing through my head, '_beat it out of me.' _Her voice is growing louder in y head until, they become screams bouncing around in my head and I'm desperate to stop Christian.

"Don't Christian! Please! Don't go in there!" I'm begging, frantic, my throat burning from the constant yelling, the tears unstoppable. "Christian please! Please! Stop! Taylor put me down, put me down!" I'm kicking and hitting his back and he's gone, Christian steps in but keeps the door open. I can barely see Gail leaning against the frame of the door. He kept the door open, rationalize Ana, he wouldn't keep the door open but, he's in there, he's in that room with her. Taylor puts me down in the security room and I run to the screen, searching for them to come down. Gail is still upstairs. Where are they?!

"Ana I'm-"

"No! Jason how could you!" I swing around to face him, tears still running down my face, I wipe my nose with my sleeve. "I trusted you to protect me! Why didn't you protect me?!" My words are a smack to his face, he looks genuinely hurt. I see the screen and all three of them are walking down the stairs. Sawyer enters and cuffs Leila, Christian leaves the great room and within seconds the door opens. He see's Taylor and I staring at each other down, Jason's face failing to hide his pain and mine filled with betrayal.

"Jason give us a moment."

"I'm sorry Ana," it's barely a whisper and he leaves.

Christian is looking at me, carefully stepping toward me, reading my face for any signs. He steps to me again and I step back. My world is crashing around me and every fiber of being knows it's going to get worst. Police are here, they're talking to Gail, Sawyer and Taylor, asking for Christian but he doesn't move. He's staring at me, cautiously he steps forward, I step back again. He can't touch me, my body can't handle his touch right now.

"I kept the door open." He's trying to reassure me.

"How did it feel?" He's shocked, steps back in confusion, running his hands through his hair and pacing back and fourth. "How did it feel Christian?! Seeing her in the room, how did it feel!" It was no longer a question. I knew the answer. I step forward and pulled his arm so he's looking at me. "How did it feel!?"

Christian didn't answer me. The police knock and Taylor escorts them in, asking questions, she confessed to breaking in and there was no other reason to gather statements. They took Leila and that was the last I heard about her for weeks.

My mom stayed for a few more days and when she left so did my precious babies. It was a bitter sweet good bye. Full of tears. My mom went back on the private jet and the kids back on coach with Grandma Grace. Christian and I haven't talked about Monday. It hung in the balance between us, this thick fog distancing us from each other. Jason and I were different too. He barely looked at me, we haven't spoken, despite Gail begging each of us to do so. One little event was tearing us apart. Maybe that was her plan, distance us first, attack later. Christian picks up his phone and he goes pale, mouth open, unable to speak.

"A-are you sure?" His voice is a whisper, "How? Just now? Where, yes, we'll be right there. Taylor we have to go to Washington Medical." My heart drops, "the kids?!"

"No Ana..." A sigh of relief passes me and then it hits me like a wrecking ball, shattering through my emotions. I gasp and throw my hand to my mouth.

"No Christian..."

"The plane caught fire."

The world stopped, I was at the hospital, in the ER, Christian was talking to someone, more than one? "We did everything we could... severely burned... I'm sorry..." What? What did he say? Who was that. Everything slow motion, my heart stopped and my legs failed me. I could feel the cold hard ground under my knees. Christian was holding me, my face was wet, am I crying? Time skips and we're at the house. I hear Kate, where is she? I feel Ray holding me, he's crying, his body shaking around me, "I'm so sorry Annie." Sorry? Why? Wheres my mom? Did she make it? I have to check my phone. "Ana, Ana say something!" Christians voice is pleading. I look up, I'm at home, sitting in the living room and I catch Ray, starring into his eyes. Somethings different. The tears, he's crying and all at once it hits me. Mommy! She's gone. The plane got halfway into the sky when the engine failed, it came crashing right back down, it caught fire.

"Let me see her!"

"She's severely burned Mrs. Grey, unrecognizable. They did all they could in the ambulance. We lost her on the way. I'm so sorry."

The pain shoots up my spine, jerking me to the present time. It's dark outside and I lose it. I jump up and run out the door. I don't know where I'm going, I just have to get out of here. I feel the rocks and grass on my bare feet. My eyes burn from trying to produce tears that are no longer there. My heart pounding, I can barely breathe. I hear Christian behind me and I stop, my world is spinning and just before I fall Christian catches me. I'm shaking under his strong arms.

"She's gone. Christian, she's gone. I can't... I can't do this. I need her!" I'm trying to take deep breathes but my body is rejecting the air, I can't breathe.

"We'll get through this Ana. We'll get through it, I promise." He picks me up and carries me back to the house, pass everybody and upstairs. My body is convulsing, my mind is rejecting the reality. Christian's holding me, tight. I weep endlessly into his chest. The sound of his heart being my only sense of comfort.

I look in the mirror, eyes swollen. I've loss weight, my body pale, needing sun, paler even more so against black material. The last few days have been a blur. Mia, Kate and Grace have done everything. Christian has canceled everything. The world put on hold...

"Ana?" He's quiet, gentle. "It's time." I nod in response and we walk downstairs and into the car.

Phoebe's eyes are swollen, face tear stained, I can't look at her. Theodore doesn't look like he cried at all. His face harden, emotionless. I stare out the window, we soon pull up to a church. Someone comes up to us saying something. I turn away, tuning the world out. The funeral is a closed casket. So many people, my mother is- was... no. I shake my head. I don't hear anybody, the service was a blur. There are people downstairs but I retreat upstairs, hiding from this ugly truth. I hear a knock and it's Teddy. I try to smile but my face rejects. I just look at him. He kneels in front of me, laying his head in my lap and weeps. I stroke his head, trying as best I could to comfort him, the tears fresh on my face again. We stayed there for hours, he tried to stay strong all day. Christian finally comes up the stairs, I can see the anguish in his eyes, he turns his head, hiding his face. He turns, biting his knuckle, anything to suppress the emotions. my poor fifty. Still so lost. Teddy is still crying in my lap, reminding me that he's still sixteen. He acts so much older it's easy to forget. The scene is heart wrenching, my two boys, the strongest men in my life, exposing their weaknesses at my feet. Then it hits me, you have to be strong Ana, for them. For my family.


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

It's been weeks since... the incident. I've buried myself into my work, we doubled up on stocks and gained two overseas contracts and one in Canada. After the crash Christian had everybody looking through every inch of the wreckage. There was no clue to foul play; Christian and I still don't believe it. There's a nagging feeling, deep inside both of us, Hyde has something to do with it. The kids are back in England with Grandma Grace after a lot of arguments and a very furious Theodore. It was the first time he lost control in such a long time.

"What the fuc-"

"Theodore Raymond you better watch your language! Your going back to the UK, end of discussion." He was hovering over me, eyes the deepest darkest blue.

"What's happening!? Why don't you want us here?!" He slams his fist into the wall, cracking the drywall. He turns, hands in a fist by his side. "What are you guys hiding!?"

"I'm not discussing this, you can wait until your father gets home!" I'm exhausted and have no patience right now.

"Tell me!" His voice is a ferocious roar, making me jump and turn to him. "What are you hiding mom!? What's happening!?" He's pacing the room, hands running through his hair, gritting his teeth together. There's been too much emotion filling these walls. Too many people walking on egg shells around each other. We're hurt, our unit is torn and heartbroken. There's too many secrets and Teddy knows it. He's too protective, lost, he needs to control the outcome of a situation and right now he's helpless. My poor boy, too much of his father in him.

"Shut up! Stop fighting! I'm so sick of the fighting!" Phoebe is standing at the bottom of the stairs.

"Oh God, shut up Phoebe!"

"Theodore don't talk to your sister like!"

"Then tell me whats going on!"

"Stop yelling! Stop it!"

Christian runs into the house followed by Taylor then Sawyer. We're in the middle of a screaming fit, Teddy following me from room to room telling me to reveal our secrets, Phoebe yelling for us to stop fighting, me yelling at Theodore to stop pushing the subject.

"What the hell is going on!?" Christians voice breaks out over all of us. Halting everybody mid-step. We turn to look at him, exhausted and annoyed. "That's it, Phoebe go upstairs, Theodore come with me!" He's barking orders and nobody dares to object. Phoebe runs upstairs crying and Christian leaves with Teddy. Sawyer and Taylor turn to retire in their homes but I stop Taylor.

"Yes ma'am?"

"Cut the crap Jason, we need to talk." I sit on the couch as he stands looking down at me. "Please Jason, sit with me." He finally gives in and sits on the recliner facing me. "They're trying to tear us apart. Hyde's accomplishing exactly what he's out to do. It's important we stay a unit... I'm sorry. I am so sorry. I know the sac-"

"You were right."

"No Ja-"

"Ana I didn't protect you. Since I started working for Christian, my loyalty has always been to him. When he started to become my friend, it was no longer a job. I knew how f*cked up he was. I had to keep him safe, mostly from himself. I saw the difference in you. I knew from the beginning you were better than anybody he's ever brought back to Escala. I wanted to tell you so badly to stay away from him. I felt this unnerving urge to keep you away from the evil I knew he was capable of. I never did though. I never said anything and it killed me. To see you handle everything that was thrown your way, I don't know how you did it. How you dealt with it. I'm sorry Ana."

I can feel my eyes burning, tears threatening any moment. I jump up and grab Jasons neck in a hug. He hugs me back and for the first time since meeting him, we talk, really talk. He's no longer an employee and I finally realize that he's more than a friend. Jason Taylor is my family and I'll do whatever necessary to protect him.

"Ana?" Christians voice snaps me back to the present. I look up at him not saying anything. "Are you ready to leave?"

"Christian I have some contracts to look over, I'm going to be working a little late."

"It's 7:30 Ana. Let's go eat." There's no way, I look at the clock taken back a little. Where did the time go? I look out to the hall and most of the lights are off. I hear the buzz of my phone and see Teddy's number and picks it up. What time is it over there?

"Teddy?" Christian steps forward, alarmed.

"Mom! Shit, everybody's been trying to get a hold of you and dad! Bee is gone. She never returned from dance." My heart stops and I'm shaking my head. I freeze, talk Ana! Christian see's my expression and takes the phone from me.

"Teddy what happen!? …. What!?... Why the f*ck did it take so long to contact us!?... That's not possible. You bought a new phone?... Where's Grace?... Holy shit, hers to!?... That doesn't make sense. We're on our way." He hangs up and calls some other people, making plans and arrangements. Taylor and Sawyer pull up and we're off. It seems like a lifetime later we're at the airport, loading onto a different jet. Carrick waiting for us inside, our phones are now blowing up, Elliott, Mia, Kate, Gail, Ethan, Ray... over and over again until we have to turn them off. Christians hand is on mine, he's talking to me but I can't hear him. So many scenarios jogging through my mind. What if she's, no, no Ana, I shake my head trying to dismiss the thought. My heart can't take this, my emotions are already shot. I'm still mourning. I say a desperate prayer. Please God, I can't handle anything else. Not my baby, not my baby girl. Take me, she has too many plans, dreams. She's too young. Please, God I can't handle if something happens to her. My heart contracts and I start hyperventilating. Everybody's running around grabbing a paper bag, getting me to breathe in it. Thank God for the stewardess, I'd be dead without her quick thinking. Christians rubbing my back and I finally take a moment to look at him. His face has aged, he looks exhausted, tried. I suddenly feel the urge to hold him, comfort him but I don't. I just sit there, staring out into nothing. At some point between refueling and flying off again I fall into a deep sleep. Christians waking me up.

"Ana, we're here." I'm in a daze but instantly gain my composure at the thought of Phoebe. It's five in the morning in London, still dark, I hear Christian talking to Teddy, no sign of her. She still isn't picking up the phone and I no longer can control my emotions, I throw my head into my hands and bawl. Deep, desperate tears. Please God, please, I will do anything. Please, take me. Don't let anything happen to her.

"God!" The name slips out of me, such desperation for Him to hear me. My chest tightens and Christian grabs me, pulling me into his lap and I can feel the tears on his face. He buries himself in my shoulder and lets every built up emotion out. I can hear Taylor sniffling and in the corner of my eyes I see Sawyer hand him a tissue.

The short 20 minute drive took too long, we get out of the car and Teddy runs to me, wrapping his arms around me.

"I'm so sorry mom, I should have watched her better. I'm so sorry."

"Shhh baby, this is not your fault." I can feel his tears run down my neck and I kiss his cheeks. I see Grace talking to Carrick. Christian is looking at Teddy and I as he makes his way over to us, he puts his hand on Teddy's shoulder, Teddy steps away from me and turns to his father. Without hesitation, Christian grabs his son into a hug and they're both silently crying, Christian soothing his son. The scene tugs at my heart, eyes swelling with tears again. A side of Christian I haven't seen since Phoebe was a young girl. I see Grace crying, she's never witnessed this side of Christian, it's enough to cause her to break down. My phone vibrates and I grab it hoping for answers, not bothering to check the ID.

"Holy shit Ana! What's going on?!"

"Oh Kate! We just touched down in London, Bee is missing."

"We're on our way Ana, I'm going to wake everybody up!" Before I can refuse she hangs up, I try calling but to no avail. I get another call, unknown. I pick up and instantly recognize the voice.

"Mrs. Grey, do you think my daughter would look like this too? Her eyes are so beautiful, just like her daddy."

"Leila how the- what did you do to her!?" Everybody runs to me, gathering close and Christian snatches the phone from me.

"Leila?!"

-click-

"Leila?!"


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Christian's talking to police and the whole family is here now. It's been two days and Phoebe is still missing. It's all over the media, headlines feeding off their own imagination. We refuse to have any TV, newspapers or magazines in the house. We have everybody we can think about looking for her. The phone rings and Christian picks up. I can tell by the one sided conversation that it's Welch. Christian finally hangs up and tells us that a random person, no connection to Leila or Hyde bailed Leila out, we still don't know how she got to London or how she got a hold of Phoebe. I'm relieved Teddy finally fell asleep. He's been awake, blaming himself, brain storming ideas with Christian and the security team. There are waves of people constantly coming in and out of the house. No useful news and my nerves are shot. I hear Taylor tell Christian to get some sleep, when was the last time he slept? His eyes are dark and they have light bags, other than that, he still conducts himself in the same manner.

"Christian, come, lay with me."

"Anastasia, you know I can't. I have to find her."

"If you get some sleep, your mind will be sharper. You can think better if you get some sleep. Taylor you too. Nothing is going on right now, I need you and Sawyer at your best. Please, take the guest rooms, call your wife and get some sleep." He looks at Christian for the silent permission and Christian nods his head. He knows as well as I do that they work their best when they've rested. Christian walks over and holds his hand out."

"I can't, I don't want to wake Teddy."

"Ana, I wont sleep without you, move slowly, Elliott will watch him while we sleep." Kate walks up to me.

"Ana I'll lay with him. You need some sleep. The both of you, please." I carefully move and Kate takes over my spot, gently running her hand through Teddy's tousled hair. I quietly thank her and Christian and I go to one of the rooms and instantly fall asleep.

I wake up and Christian is sitting on the edge of the bed looking at me. I cock my head to one side and stare at him.

"Did you sleep OK Ana?" I nod my head yes and he leans closer to me."Have I told you 24/7 always lately?" I shake my head no. "I'm sorry," he kisses me on the forehead and cups my face in his hands, "Anastasia Grey, 24/7 always."

"24/7 always Christian."

We take a shower together, change and make our way back to the living area. Teddy is talking with Taylor, Sawyer, Elliott and Carrick. Kate, Ethan and Grace are talking at the table. I can tell by the sweet aroma filling the house that Mia is in the kitchen. I hear the other kids in the game room and things almost feel normal. My chest tightens at the thought, Phoebe, baby girl I hope your OK. Christian answers his phone and his face changes, he hangs up and tells us someone dropped Phoebe at the hospital.

We rush over and get told that she's OK, no harm except she's severely dehydrated. They hooked her to an IV and we immediately get to see her. Teddy was the first to run in, grabbing her in a hug and kissing the top of her head. I come second, tears rolling down my face again and I can't help but kiss her all over her face and the top of the head. I check every part of her body, moving her arms and legs to make sure she's really OK. Christian comes second, he holds her for the longest time, kissing the top of her head and cheek and moves for everybody else to welcome her.

"Oh man, you'd think I got kidnapped or something!" She nervously laughs. The doctor comes in and checks a few more things and gives us the OK to take her home. The whole way home she talks about how hungry she is. She hasn't ate anything but a piece of toast somebody sneaked her. We wait to ask her questions until got something to eat. As soon as we walk in, Mia and Ethan run and give her a hug.

"Oh darling! I hope your hungry!"

"Aunt Mia, I'm starving!"

We all sit down and Teddy no longer contain himself.

"What happen Bee?!" He's relaxed grateful for his sisters safe return.

"I'm not really sure. One minute I'm going to the locker room to change, next thing I know is somebody is grabbing me, they threw something on my head and buckled me in the backseat. I fought back dad, everything I was taught but, that lady was trained by someone. I was just grateful they didn't throw me in the trunk."

"They?" Teddy urged on.

"You fought back?" Christian was half impressed and the other half proud of his little fighter.

"Yea, when I was grabbed my body went straight into survivor mode, I pushed the lady away from me and got a short glance of her. Can I see somebody's phone?" I hand her mine and she logs into an account and pulls up a series of pictures.

"When she came after me, I was about to call Teddy to let him know I was almost done, I quickly switched to camera and just randomly started snapping photos, I figured daddy would go through my accounts and find them and I was trying to use the flash to blind her so I could run." Taylor tried to hide a smile, he was almost as proud as Christian. "Here, I got a few good ones of her face." She hands the phone to me and I go ashen. What the f*ck?! Sawyer see's the photo from behind me and gasps.

"Holy shit!" Christian grabs the phone and Taylor jumps up to look, the next name they say in unison.

"Prescott!"

"No, why would she do this? It doesn't make sense."

"You think Belinda has an evil twin?" Christian says with a sarcastic tone. Teddy looks from me to Christian.

"You guys know her?"

"She was apart of your mothers security a very long time ago."

"She's the one who dropped me off at the hospital. There were two other women, I heard her fighting for me. One of the girls said to kill me, one said to drug me up, make a video of me and use it as a ransom. She's the only one who sneaked me food and something to drink."

"Did you see the other women?"

"No, but that lady, she saved my life dad."

The next couple days was spent looking for Prescott. She must have multiple names she's going by because everything is coming to a dead end. We did find out that it was Prescott who bailed Leila. I know whole heartedly that Prescott wouldn't do this. There has to be a reason. Christian refuses to give up. He's looking though Prescott's, Leila's and Hyde's history as far back as he could and the only thing each of them have in common are Christian and I. It's been a few hours and we finally get a call. Christian hangs up and he's even more confused. He tells me that there's one more connection that Prescott has with Leila, they both got a hair cut from one of Elena's salons. It was different years and different times but, that was the only other connection. Elena? The darkness inside me rises again.

"She wouldn't do this Ana, she's not that type of person. Vindictive maybe but, she's not that crazy. Especially sixteen years later. She believes strongly in the, 'in the moment' repercussions."

"People change Christian." The words come out of me in a hiss.

"Not Elena."

I decide that's my cue and walk out of his office. Is he really still sticking up for her?! God, it obviously will always be that way. I walk into my room and close the door, pacing the floor, I feel it, that unexplored feeling taking over the sensible me. She could be out our lives for centuries and he will always protect her. Stand up for her when he has every reason not to. My breathing is shallow, heart pounding an unnatural beat in my chest, my body is heating and I can feel the light dimming. Don't lose that light Ana, hang on to the go- shut up. No! No! No! I'm so sick of f*cking hanging on to the good. The good didn't kill Jack! I left him alive, I let him reenter my life and kill my mother! She's gone because the f*cking good in me didn't kill him! My daughter was kidnapped because of that good! My vision starts to blur and my teeth are grinding against each other, I stop, furious at myself, at Christian and Elena, Prescott, Leila, Jack! That f*cking Jack! I want to scream, break something, I march to the fireplace and pick up a vase and throw it against the wall. It's not enough, I lose it, I knock everything off the fireplace and I'm about to pick up a chair when I feel familiar arms around me again.

"Ana! What's going on? Baby what's happening to you?"

He's running his hand down my hair, gently whispering in my ear. I can feel that light again, why is he trying to bring that light back? It's weakness, he likes me weak. The word is sickening to me. Weak, my family is in danger because of that weakness. The light is dimming again and part of me is trying to bring it back. The part Christian fell in love with. Yes, Christian fell in love with that light. That light is his life line. Does lose the light Ana, your family needs that light. I swallow the lump in my throat, my breathing becomes normal and Christian is picking me up, moving me to the bed. He's apologizing, I don't know why. I'm suddenly overwhelmed by emotions. What's happening to me? I have to stay good.

With all the events in London, we finally agree to Teddy and Bee coming home. The flight was quiet, Teddy is happy to spend his senior year back at his old school. Bee argued with us the whole drive to the airport. She was learning at one of the best ballet schools in the world and she wasn't willing to give up so easily. We promised when things are safer she could go back. She cried for a whole hour, arguing her point; she had some really good points. She went straight into the cabin and locked herself in there for most of the flight. I'm sure if she didn't smell food, she would have stayed in there until we landed.

"Aw Bee c'mon. You get to see all your friends again. Soccer with your team and your only fourteen, everybody at that dance school was my age. This way you can return with your peers your own age."

"Teddy, I was keeping up with kids older than me. I had the best teacher possible, you and I both know that part of planning for our futures is who we know in the present. She's the best reference a dancer could ask for. You know how good it would look to future studios if they know I learned, danced and kept up with the best, at my age?"

"Phoebe, your not going to dance your whole life-"

"Yes, I am!"

"That's not a future Phoebe! What if you break a bone? What if something happens and you can no longer dance?"

"I'm not giving up my education. They have the best education in London too. It's still considered a prestigious school and dancers there have been accepted into the holy trinities."

"Holy trinities!? Your obviously not talking about Harvard, Yale and Princeton."

"Yes I am, dancers from that school study just as hard as they dance!"

"What percentage?! I'd like to see the numbers!"

"OK you two. Enough of that. Phoebe I promise we will get you back to that school within the year. We have a duty as your parents to worry about your safety first." I can't contain my smile, the three of them, so formal and in constant business mode. Christians voice is soothing, calming their moods instantly.

"Dad, I'd like that in writing, I'll have Miss. Gates work on the paper work and fax it to."

Christian raises an eyebrow at her. We laugh and talk the rest of the trip, nodding off occasionally. The ride seemed shorter, much shorter. When we finally pull up to the house, Sawyer and Taylor are already there. I know they looked every inch of that house down and I'm all of sudden so grateful they're still with us. Christian, Taylor and Sawyer retire to the office and Teddy is in the kitchen making a sandwich, Bee and I are in the TV room, she's sitting next to me, leaning her head on my shoulder.

"Mom, I was so scared. Those two women, the one one who said to kill me, she was determined. She kept saying that daddy deserved it. To lose someone. She said he broke her." She looks at me cautiously, I urge her to keep talking. "She sounded so wounded mom. They also talked about how they loved him, how that's what he does, he beats his love into them, intoxicate them with that feeling of ownership, like he wouldn't leave and just like in the room, he'd take them to ecstasy and pull away." My body tightens and my breathing stops momentarily. "What room mom? What were they talking about?"

"Bee, who knows what the mouths of crazy people speak about?" We talk for a few minutes until she goes upstairs to get some sleep. Teddy comes in almost as soon as she leaves.

"You know what she was saying mom, what did those women mean?"

"Teddy please, you have to let this go."

Christian walks out and looks at us. Teddy turns to face him him. "Bee told mom she overheard the women talking about a room. What room dad?" Christian doesn't flinch, his body is giving nothing away.

"Teddy I assure you I'm not sure what your talking about." I'm surprised by how well he just lied.

"Dad, they said you took them to the breaking point, that you beat your love into them, what room dad?"

"I did beat my love into them Teddy, before meeting your mother I enjoyed my pleasures, rough." He said it so casually, surprising both Theodore and I.

"You raped women dad?" Teddy sat down confused.

"No son, everything was done with consent. They wanted what I did as much as I wanted it.." I can't hear this, I move to stand up but Christian walks next to me and sits down, pulling me close to him, wrapping his arm around my shoulder. "Teddy, before I met your mother, I hated the idea of relationships. I wanted women solely on the fact that they could be a sexual release. Whenever they wanted more I moved on. I didn't treat them the way I should have. That's what I was telling you that day on the boat. Women are sensitive creatures. Eventually, sex wont be enough. Your mother, "he kisses my shoulder, "she changed my point of view. I fell in love with her before I was ever physical with her. I didn't know it at the time and it took me awhile to realize it but, I did. She was a force of change. Look for your force of change Teddy."

Despite how awkward that night was, Teddy didn't press about the room again. We talked to him about everything going on. We answered majority of his questions and we went to sleep better that night.. until the pounding on the door. Christian jumped up, grabbed a shirt and met Teddy and Bee's eyes in the hall. He whispered for me to go into Phoebes room, signaled Teddy to follow him downstairs. I hear them shuffling around and then the door opens. Christian is yelling something and I hear a familiar distant voice. Prescott? What is she doing here? I open the door and tip toe toward the stairs.

"Mr. Grey, they're coming for you." I hear a phone ring and a panicked Prescott say's she has to go. "Linc, follow the trail of Linc!" She runs to her car and veers off. I walk downstairs and look at Christian. "Linc?"Christian turns to look at me.

"She's trying to shake us, Linc is dead."

"How do you know?"

"He committed suicide Ana. He's not someone to worry about."

Suicide? That's significant to something but, I can't remember why. We go back upstairs and it doesn't take long for everybody to go back to sleep. I dream of a late night in Escala, Christian is in his office, "I woke up my wife." …... "A friend of a friend committed suicide." I shoot out of sleep and look at him horrified.

"You spoke to Elena?!"

Christian rubs his eyes and looks at me.

"Ana what are you talking about? I haven't spoke to Elena."

"What friend of a friend committed suicide Christian?!"

"Yes, Ana I was talking about her but not to her. Welch called to notify me."

"Promise me Christian."

He kisses me softly and pulls me to him, kissing the back of my neck and I feel his erection on my back as his hands move forward, rubbing my nipples, sucking on my neck. He gets up and closes our door, locking it as he walks back he pulls his shirt over his head and drops his pants, his erection springing out. He crawls back into bed, crawling between my legs, pulling my breast from my night gown and sucking one of my nipples while squeezing the other. I moan, my body shivers at his touch. He pulls my gown up and I feel him against my clit before sliding himself down and inside me. My back arches at the feeling, it's been too long and my body has been needing his. There's no kinky f*ckery in this home. He's only ever made love to me and tonight, he poured his soul in me with every forceful thrust. He's been needing me too. Biting my neck and digging his hands in my hips. The first release was a plea for another as he flips us over and I'm on top. He adjusts himself so he's sitting instead of laying and I slide myself down on him. He runs his fingers down my spine and my body instantly reacts. He leans me forward, pulling my breast in his mouth again. I'm riding him slowly, feeling every inch of him inside me, deep inside me as my body cries for him. His name is a prayer off my lips and he's begging for my orgasm. I start thrusting my hips faster, moving in circular motions, up and down, faster, harder. I feel him swelling, he's close and I can no longer hold back. We find our release together, forgetting everything in the outside world. He lays me next to him and kisses me.

"24/7 always Mrs. Grey."

"24/7 always Mr. Grey."


	9. Chapter 8

_*Authors note: I wanted to warn everybody that this chapter will have to hold you until this weekend. My work and school schedule is so hectic that I wont be able to update. I also want to say thank you for reading and for the reviews! I enjoy the comments so much and I promise when I get back I'll make up for absence! _

**Chapter Eight**

Time passes and our security team grows. Each of us have two guards and they go everywhere we go, hand picked by Taylor and Sawyer every last one of them have history with either of the two. We can't risk new people, even our businesses, every company Christian owns was told not to hire anybody without his permission first. The background checks are intensive and Welch has been working every minute of every day, looking for Prescott, still looking for Leila and Hyde and now; checking Elena and Linc's background. The only thing we know is Elena's business is struggling and after liquidating Linc's business, he struggled too. A part of me felt pity for both of them, despite what Elena said, a part of me knew she loved him. He always talked about what she gave him but, he failed to realized what he gave her. She needed him, everybody Christian comes around needs him, I can relate to that, sympathize to that feeling. My attention goes back to Teddy and Christian talking about a charity party this weekend for Halloween. This will be Teddy's first major event, Christian and I couldn't be more proud of him.

"I don't want to do a costume party dad, everybody does that."

"Well, what are you thinking?"

"A murder mystery. Force everybody into a real life game of clue. I've been looking at uncle Lelliot's blueprint of the center and we have more than enough room."

They talk blueprints, guest, decorations and food until dinner. I'm not sure how my kids got their business ethic, I wonder if that's inherited? I laugh at myself and gain everybody's attention. Christian is amused by my daydreaming. We stay at the dinner table long after everything has been cleared and cleaned.

Work has been blooming and it feels good to be in the comfort of my office, making my own money and growing my husbands business, it gives me satisfaction to please him, after all these years, I want to please him. My phone rings and I hear Miss. Gates.

"Mrs. Grey, there's a package that came for you from Woman's magazine."

"Oh good, they're supposed to send me the copy of the article and cover, I'll be right out."

As I walk out Christian is already there, looking at the box suspiciously. It annoys me a little, since we've been back to London I'm not even allowed to open my packages. I've been waiting for this article for so long, I snatch it from the counter and rip it open. Out comes the magazine with me on the cover, I never realized how different I look, my body is lean but strong, not sure if it's from the Christian Grey workout or if it's from my personal trainer. Either way, I have to say, I look fantastic; confident in my body. The Grey transformation. I giggle and Christian urges me to find the interview and article. I flip it open and when I find the page, there's a note sticking out:

"_Follow the trail to Eric Lincolin. The answer is in his suicide." _

I look at the note and my face falls, he gently grabs the magazine and kisses me on the forehead.

Christian slowly takes the magazine from me and hands it to Taylor. "We'll read it together with the kids later, I'm sure they would want us to share the occasion." He lifts my chin with his index finger until I'm staring at his bright gray eye's. This was supposed to be such a happy moment for me. I've been waiting so long for the magazine. That's how it's been the last few weeks, one joyous moment followed by a bad one. My emotions have been all over the place. I need some stability. I'm not sure how much of this high and low I can take. Christian kisses me gently on the lips then on the corner of my mouth, my cheek and my earlobe. I giggle and blush at his very public display of affection. I can see Miss. Gates staring hard at her computer screen pretending to type, her face is a bright red. Only Christian can lift my spirits in a very un-Christian way.

"Come Mrs. Grey, we have business to attend."

We walk out and make our way to the car, Taylor following close behind us. The drive to Escala is short and I can feel the pint up sexual tension in the car, we make it to the elevator and I jump on Christian, legs wrapping around him, our kiss is a desperate, messy The elevator stops and opens, Taylor dashes into his old office and Christian wastes no time going up to the playroom. My clothes are already half off me. I managed to take his shirt off on the stairs and his pants are already undone, falling off, he's struggling with the door as I hike up my skirt, I can't wait. My body is feening for his, I reach down and pull his erection from his boxers and I slide down on him, he pushes me against the door and he shoves himself deeper in me, rough, painful, this is what I need. "Take my pain Christian," I whisper in his ear, a plea. I need to forget about the events, I need to forget the drama ensnaring my life. I dig my nails in his back, dragging them slowly up his shoulder blades, he cries out and thrust inside me again, deep, slow, forceful. I can tell he needs this too. His thrust is strong again, shoving me into the door, I reach behind me, turning the key and opening the door, Christian almost loses his balance as we stumble in, he doesn't bother to close it again as he makes his way to the large bed, throwing me on it, he's staring deep into my soul with dark hungry eyes. I turn on my stomach, lifting my body by my knees, sliding backwards toward him until his erection is touching my butt. I pull my hair from behind me over my shoulder, revealing my neck and I look back at him.

"Hurt me Christian." He can tell by my voice I need this, I need him to be my only source of pain. I have control over that pain, I can make it come and go as I please. He grabs my hips and pulls me until I'm leaning off the bed, butt in the air. He rubs my cheek and with one quick movement I feel his hand smack against me, stinging, and then again and again. I feel the tears stirring up, this dark, intoxicating feeling. My body welcomes it, accepts it, longs for it. I can hear Christians breathing, low, fast. He moves his hand to the other cheek and caresses it, then I feel the smack, hard against my backside, the sting of pain is arousing. Christian goes to his pleasure drawer and pulls out a small thick vibrator. He walks back and in an instant he pushes it hard inside my anus. I grab the bed sheet and with a half moan and half yell I jump forward. Christian grabs me and pulls me up again and as quickly as the vibrator I feel him shove himself inside me, gripping my waist tightly, I can barely move as he pulls out slowly then forces himself in me again.

"If you f*cking move again, I'll tie you up Anastasia." I smile at his threat, welcoming the idea. I try to move as he shoves himself inside me again, faster with every stroke, my body is trembling and I know my body wont be capable of holding back. His hand moves up and comes back down on my cheek again, I scream off guard. I push myself back on him and he throws me forward, "I told you not to move." His dark eyes surprise me, my fun loving Christian is gone and I see the dom in him rising, taking control. He grabs a rope and with force pulls my arms together and then my feet, he takes the extra rope and loops it into the frame of the bed and comes around and ties my knees up to my arms. I'm completely immobile, watching Christian tie off the end of the rope to the other end of the bed. He's straddling my back, running his fingers down my spine.

"Are the ropes too tight?"

"No, Christian, I need you now. Please."

I feel one more hard smack on my cheek and the vibrator pushes against me, the feeling is a trigger to my built up emotions. Christian forces himself inside me again and again. My body is building up, ready for it's release and all of a sudden Christian is pushing the vibrator deeper inside me, I can barely handle it, my head pushes against the bed and I'm screaming Christians name, releasing myself on him. He doesn't stop, the vibrator, his manhood in and out of me, insistent. Oh no, my body can't take much more. I'm begging Christian to find his release, he's close to my breaking point and I feel the pain deep inside me, I'm screaming his name, begging him.

"Christian please! I can't take much more!" With one last forceful, deep thrust, he cries out my name, releasing himself inside me.

"Shit!" His voice is desperate, panicked. His body is shaking but he doesn't rest, he throws the vibrator our of me and grabs scissors from the drawer and runs over to cut me free, throwing the rope to the ground. Once my body is released he sweeps me up avoiding eye contact. What's happening? What's wrong? I feel the pain inside me and Christian runs down the stairs into the bedroom and straight to the bath. He's in a rush, his breathing fast, uneven. I watch as he throws the lavender bubble soap and some sea salt. Why is he in such a rush? He turns to face me, still avoiding my eyes, "I'm so sorry Ana, you should have stopped me, why didn't you stop me?!" I follow his eyes down my thighs and realize the blood. Holy hell, was he really that rough? It didn't feel that rough.

"Christian please, I liked it, I needed it hard. Please don't bla-"

"No Ana! You should have stopped me, I didn't realize, I was lost in it, in you. I'm sorry Ana, I lost control."

"Christian! I needed this. I begged for this."

He slowly puts me in the water and turns away from me. He tells me to clean up and walks out of the bathroom. Oh no! My poor fifty shades is back, still so lost. I quickly clean up as the pain inside me grows. Every touch is painful and grows with every movement. I finish as fast as I can and jump out, grabbing my robe. I find him on the stairs with a mop, cleaning a trail of blood from the play room. How bad was it?

"Christian-"

"No Ana, this was too much, I went too far."

I see the horror on his face, he finishes and closes the playroom door. His hair is wet and he's in fresh clothes. Did he shower? Where? He walks pass me and into Taylors room, Gail comes out after a moment and smiles at me, she looks sad, disappointed. She goes up and locks the playroom door and vanishes in another part of the apartment. Christian comes back out with a smile on his face, I shake my head at the fast change of attitude. Oh, Christian you will never change. I giggle at old memories and he cocks his head to the side.

"Something funny Mrs. Grey?"

"Your mood changes quickly."

"For your sake. Are you ready to go home? The kids will be out of school soon."

"Yes, can we eat out tonight? I'm not sure my appetite can wait until we're home."

"Of course."

We leave and drive off toward the school. I look back confused that Taylor isn't trailing us.

"Where's Jason?"

"Him and Gail have some matters to attend to. Sawyer will meet us at the school and follow us from there."

"What matters?" He look uncomfortable and I can tell he doesn't want to say.

"Just somethings I need him to do." I know I won't get anything out of him so I change topics.

"So, Teddy is getting his Halloween event together?"

"Yes, I've called some favors in, he'll have a good turn out."

"Did he pick a charity?" Christian has a huge grin on his face.

"My parents charity. He told Carrick yesterday so naturally, dad and mom called some favors too."

We pick the kids up and make our way to Canlis, my only favorite five star restaurant in the Seattle area. Teddy and Phoebe are always the youngest and table one is always open for us. It was nice to be with the family, no worries, the outside world a distant memory for the moment. Phoebe tells us all about her day and a disagreement she had with one of her teachers. Teddy tells us all the plans he has for the Halloween event, his phone rings excessively through dinner. He finally presses silent and goes back to all the little details. Sawyer walks over and excuses Christian from the table, after a few minutes, Christian comes back and sits at the table. He doesn't say anything and immediately asks Teddy more questions about the event and I can tell something happen. The food was fantastic, the owners always treat us like family and we promised to return soon. The drive is filled with Teddy and Phoebe talking back and fourth, Christian is in deep thought and I can't help but think of the worst. We send the kids to finish their school work and without hesitation Christian turns to me already reading my thoughts.

"They found Prescott outside of Seattle, she was shot in the head and the police have no leads as of right now. Welch got in contact with Taylor and sent him these photos." He lays a series of security stills on the table, Elena is sitting there with a man, I really don't want to see these until the last picture, a clear photo of the mans face zoomed in... Hyde.


	10. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

"Mommy, do I look like Cinderella?"

"Oh yes Ana! Come, lets show Ray before we go trick or treating." Mommy walks me to the living room, Ray has a big smile on his face; he say's I look more beautiful then Cinderella and I blush, twirling my dress around. Mommy is snapping photo after photo of me, her smile is perfection, loving, comforting. She puts the camera down and picks me up, spinning around the living room, laughing and giggling.

The rain is masking the tears and I welcome the cold air filling my lungs. It stings, a distraction from the memories of, of _her_. I know Christian is inside watching me, debating if he should say something to me. Life is quiet right now, almost peaceful, I can barely tolerate the stillness. My sleeping habits have been short, dreaming is painful and the memories are haunting reminders that she is no longer here. My mommy is no longer here, although I've called her; there are no responses and the voice mail is full. My mind still clouds the reality, intolerant of my loss. My breathing shortens, tears turn into sobs as I try to forget. I should have spent more time with her, I should have visited more.

"Come baby, lets get you in the bath. Carlene is running some tea. I promised Teddy we would meet him at the center to help set things up."

I almost forgot about Teddy's big day, I quickly stand and Christian surprises me by picking me up, carrying me into the house and upstairs to the master bath, already filled to the brim. He peels my wet clothes off me and slowly puts me in the bath then gets in after me.

"Is Teddy already at the center?"

"Yes, Taylor and Gail went with them this morning."

"Oh, Bee went to?"

"Yes, I promised we'd be there within the hour."

We bathe quickly, after changing and eating the breakfast Carlene made, we hurried over to the center. I see Mia and Ethan's car and a sea of men moving decorations, tables and chairs inside. Caterers are setting up the kictch and I can already smell the aroma of the food. We walk in and Teddy is busy with Elliott, looking at the blueprints deciding where everything is going. There are a stream of actors waiting for instructions and my heart swells with so much pride.

"Uncle L, you see where we have the banisters up here? I need some of the actors in harnesses, they'll jump from here down to the main floor. Bee, make sure you have all the actors sign the waivers. Aunt Mia can you tell the kitchen staff to hold off on the tables until the rest of the decorations are out? Uncle Eath, tell Dominick I want those decorations in the third hall! Where's aunt Kate? She's supposed to be working with the actors."

We walk up and Teddy tells us the schedule for the night. He has everything planned out, Christian will be playing the murder victim, he doesn't reveal the murderer, to my disappointment. Christian and him walk off discussing security, Taylor and Sawyer join them wondering what the plan for the night was.

"There are six exits above, two below ground and a fire escape upstairs in the attic." Teddy goes right into boss mode before Christian gets a word out. There's a smile across Christian and Taylors face, Sawyer is stunned, slight confusion etched on his face. "I'm having metal detectors put on every above ground entrance, I need four men to a door. There were strict instructions on the invitations, no mask no face paint until inside the building. No covered faces gets through those doors understood?" Sawyer nods, still confused. Teddy points to the wrap around balcony, "people who didn't pay to be part of the murder mystery will eat dinner and watch from up there, there's a cut of rope, they don't come down unless they buy a murder mystery ticket. There will be a wall of big screen TV's up there that are connected to every camera in this building."

"What is that for?"

"They allow the audience upstairs to see all the events happening down on the main floor. I also have a very keen eye keeping close watch."

"Who is that?" Taylor is surprised it isn't him.

"You guys know Ryan? I heard he used to part of the old team. Welch called in a favor for me." My mouth drops as Ryan walks in. Him and Sawyer greet each other in a very big, slightly unmanly hug and I can't help but chuckle.

"Getting the old team back." Taylor is amused as he shakes Ryan's hand.

"What about the attic and basement?"

"We'll have two people near each of those exits, they'll be locked from the outside and nobody exits them unless its an emergency. Taylor I need you inside, everybody table is broke into groups. Your eyes don't leave table one."

"Whose at table one boss?" He's trying to hide his smile and failing.

"Our family," he see's Taylors face change, etched with worry and Teddy catches on, "family means Gail and Sophie too." Taylors face changes again, slightly blushed but filled with pride. Christian is staring in amazement, complete awe of this man, everything comes to him with such ease, such grace. Christian nods at Taylor and Sawyer and walks over to me.

"Mrs. Grey, if I don't get him working for me, I'll have some serious competition." We laugh and watch him again, taking complete control of everything and everybody. There's no flaw to his plan and I know everybody is going to have an amazing time.

After a hard days work, everything is set and itineraries handed out. Nobody is questioning what they need to do and the whole gym is filled with security, well over 50 of them with earpieces in and armed. Teddy is shouting out orders from the stage and groups of men break out to do as they were told. The actors come in next, going over their roles and the cue at dinner to watch for. Teddy jumps down and walks to the kitchen to Mia, telling her what he expects done and the order of the courses. All decorations are double and triple checked as Teddy leads Christian, Taylor, Sawyer and two other security around the premises.

"Mr. Grey, sir there are multiple unidentified vans parked outside."

"Yes, my eagle eyes." Teddy points to extra cameras hidden in decorations as he asks one of the actors to walk over and he points to a pin on the collar of the young man, "a camera, there is no angle in this place that I wont be able to see." Christian, Taylor and Sawyers mouths hit the floor and I cant help but laugh at the site of them. "No risk, right dad?" He laughs at their faces and urges them on.

The place is filling up quickly, waiters seating people by the dozens. The place is packed and Carrick walks to the stage, he explains the event and the charity it's representing. Teddy then takes over the mic, briefly thanking everybody for their generous ticket donations. He seems at ease, completely at home talking to the crowds of people. The courses start and waiters come with plates of food and beverages. The night is going incredibly well, people have stopped by our table praising Teddy and his accomplishments. The lights flicker off and I scream, when the lights come back on Christian is on the floor trying not to smile, he has fake blood on his very expensive tux- that better come off, and the murder mystery is on. The people who paid to take part are getting excited, the above crowd is looking down on the live action play with amazement. Each table are given a hint and everybody is off to find the next clues.

"Well Grey, impressive boy you got there."

"Kate! You've been so busy I've hardly seen you."

"Yea well, that boy of yours had me running all over the place trying to get these actors to pull off the impossible." We laugh and watch the swarm of people running around, finding clues and pieces of the scavenger hunt.

Three hours pass and six more people, usually from our table fake a death. Elliott, Kate, Ava, Teddy's science teach Mr. Pullum, his friend Danny and Teddy's piano teacher Mrs. Klein. Thirty minutes later the lights flicker and there's a gunshot through the speakers. People hold their breathes as Taylor gives a very dramatic and hilarious fall to the ground. There's running around and laughing, people checking Taylors body for any clues. The next 45 minutes everybody is seated again, writing down their last suspicions. Before they choose the speaker to come to the stage and give their hypothesis, the lights flicker again and down goes Teddy, a fake knife sticking from his chest. The tables gasp and some have to rewrite their guess. One person from each table walk up to the stage, explaining who they chose as the murderer and why, a lot of people said me, because of the money. Our table laughs and Christian kisses the back of my hand.

"I guess I should be careful!" Christian jokes as more people walk to the stage. Some said Carrick, Elliott, Mia, Grace, another said it was somebody off Christians security, some people said it was one of the waiters. After each table has gone, a man dressed like Sherlock Holmes comes up, he's animated as he tells a story of the night while holding up different clues.

"I knew when Theodore Grey fell that it could only be one person. Somebody jealous of his accomplishments, someone who would not only inherit his money, his businesses and his parents praise! The killer is non other than Phoebe Grey!" People gasp from all over the room and Phoebe stands up, connected to a mic.

"That's right! It was supposed to be just Teddy but everybody just kept getting in my way! First my sweet daddy, he always loved Teddy more and I just couldn't take it! I'd do it again! It's my turn to get noticed, my turn!" Sherlock Holmes and some more pretend police grab Bee and drag her out of the dining hall. Everybody stands up and claps, cheering and laughing as Phoebe kicks and screams on her way out.

We're finally home and it's just past three, the car was filled with laughter and reenacting Phoebes Oscar winning performance. Bee fell asleep on the ride and Teddy swooped her up to take her inside. He kisses us good night and retires for the night. I'm glad tonight went so well, for Teddy's sake. He really did have every ground covered. Christian and I lay down and I fall into a deep sleep, dreaming about an adult Teddy, running GEH and an adult Bee, dancing around the world. How did we get so lucky? Oh, mom, you would have loved tonight. I miss you so much.

From: Anastasia Grey

Subject: Thanksgiving

Date: November 10, 2028 2:08pm

To: Christian Grey

Mr. Grey

I called Ray about Thanksgiving, do you think I should call Bob? I've only spoken to him a few times since... Kate and I are going out for dinner and drinks tonight. Will you make sure Phoebe practices for her recital? Ms. Nelson will be over to practice her solo with at six tonight. Have you heard anything about Prescott? You haven't said much to me lately.

Anastasia Grey

CEO, Grey Publishing

From: Christian Grey

Subject: Missed You At Lunch

Date: November 10, 2028 2:10pm

To: Anastasia Grey

Mrs. Grey

I think an invitation to Bob would be more than appropriate. Where will you and Kate be heading tonight? Make sure you take someone. I haven't heard anything, things have been quiet but Welch and his team is working hard. They still have no leads, they found two beer bottles, one print belonged to Eric Lincoln.

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.

From: Anastasia Grey

Subject: Strange

Date: November 10, 2028 2:14pm

To: Christian Grey

Mr. Grey

That's odd, are you sure it's an old bottle? Prescott did say to look at his suicide.

"Mrs. Grey, I already know what your about to say," Christian is leaning against the door frame, "forensics checked and said the bottle was at least two months old. Welch is searching for clues, if anybody is going to find it, it'll be him. Are you sure you have to go with Kate tonight?"

"Mr. Grey, please. I'm in the middle of a very important email." I try to hide my smile and I pretend to type. Christian closes my door and sits in the chair on the other side of my desk.

"Oh please, proceed, I'm patient. His chin is resting in his hand and he's looking at me seductively.

"Christian I know what your doing."

"Come, we have some business to attend to."

He grabs my hand and we walk out of the office, Taylor is waiting out front and we drive to Escala, I'm excited to finally go back in the playroom. There's no sign of Gail and Taylor stays in his office, I wait for Christian to lead me to the playroom but instead, he carry's me to the bedroom.

"Christian, I want to have some fun."

"We will Ana."

"No, I mean, some kinky f**kery." He puts me down and sits at the edge of the bed.

"Ana there's no more playroom."

"Funny Christian, please, I need to release. Hand me the key."

"Anastasia, I had Taylor and Gail empty out the playroom."

"I don't get it." I look at him but his face remains serious. I turn around and walk quickly up to the playroom. The door isn't locked and when it opens everything is gone. The walls are white and the dimmed lights are replaced by normal ceiling lights. I gasp in horror and turn to Christian. "Why? Why would you do this?"

"I'll protect you from anything Anastasia, that includes myself."

"If this has anything to do with last time, your insane. I loved it Christian, I needed it."

"You were a sub Ana, I saw you and I saw my sub, not my wife. You were no longer the mother of my children-"

"Christian I liked the room as much as you did. What you did to me, how it made me feel-"

"You were Leila, Anastasia!" His hands are running through his hair, he's walking back and fourth, and Leila's words are screaming through my ears, 'beat it out of me.' "You asked how it felt Ana, seeing Leila in this room, knowing she'd do whatever the f***k I wanted. Knowing she could handle the whips, the canes. I've never wanted it as bad as in that moment. It wasn't enough for me last time, I had to think of beating the shit out of you to find my release."

"No, Christian," I throw my hand over my mouth, shaking my head. "No, that's not true." I'm begging him to tell me different. To tell me he still doesn't have those feeling.

"Anastasia, I wanted to break you." His voice is a whisper, a dirty confession he's been hiding.


	11. Chapter 10

_*Authors Note: I'm back! I'm so sorry you guys have had to go without any updates in so long. I'm done with almost all of my major courses so I will literally be skating by until graduation. I'm excited to finally have a little more free time to continue the story. I will be starting full time soon at work but, I'm going to try for at least one chapter a day. Oh and by the way, I want everybody to know that I am a huge fan of Christian and Ana but, I'm not finished with exploring that secret darkness of hers. Just remember, things sometimes get worst before it gets better, if it gets better. _

**Chapter Ten**

It's been almost a week since Escala, Christian and I have barely spoken and I've kicked him out of the bedroom. His touch rises that unexplored darkness in me, I barely see that light and I'm grateful. There's a strength in me that was never there, a confidence? Arrogance? Why shouldn't I be arrogant? Look at my accomplishments, my husband, my family and even my business exceeds the norm. I've worked hard for this, sleepless nights, tears, the pain... the unexplained pain; the betrayal, the knife that is Christian Grey metaphorically penetrating the deepest part of my soul; turning me into a monster fit for a beast that is he. I hear the ping of my email, Christian.

From: Christian Grey

Subject: See You Momentarily

Date: November 15, 2028 9:01am

To: Anastasia Grey

Mrs. Grey

I need to speak to you momentarily, if you could please come to my office at your earliest convenience.

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.

I close my laptop and walk over to Miss. Gates.

"Mary, if I'm not out of my meeting in twenty, call Mr. Grey's extension to inform him that I have an important overseas call."

"Mrs. Grey?"

"Mary, just do as I ask."

I walk into Christians office and sit in the chair across his desk.

"Ana please, we need to discuss what happen over the weekend."

"Mr. Grey, this is work hours. You can speak to me about personal matters when I'm off the clock."

"If that's what you wish." He picks the phone and presses one, "Miss. Gates, Mrs. Grey is no longer on working time, forward all calls to voice mail and fit her meetings elsewhere," he hangs up and faces me. My eye's are dark, full of rage and it catches him off guard. "Ana please, what I said, I didn't mean it like that."

"Oh? Christian how the f**k did you mean it exactly? Did you not find me a good enough release? Did you not think about Leila when tying me up?" I stand up, furious at his need to control my day or rationalize his disgraceful urge to beat me. "Tell me Christian, when you said you wanted to break me, what the f**k did you mean exactly?"

"Anastasia, you didn't understand or give me the chance to explain-"

"Explain!? No, not explain, use the hold you obviously know you have on me." His face is shocked, hurt. "You do it all the time. No more Christian! I'm sick of letting you get away with things because your good at f***ing me!" I stand to leave but, before I know it,Christian's standing beside me; hand gripped around my arm, lips close to my ear and I can feel his rage radiating off him.

"Anastasia if you don't lower your voice I'll take you over my knee here." His voice a deadly hiss. "I am your husband and you will respect me as such. Now, if you want to sit your ass back down and work this out I am more than willing to oblige. I've lost my patience Anastasia, enough is enough." He pulls the seat out for me to sit back down. We glare at each other and I know what he's doing, he's trying to claim his dominance over me again. He realizes after a moment I'm not going to sit and he starts pacing the office, hands running through his hair, completely exasperated with me. "For f**ks sake Anastasia, what do you want from me?!"

"I don't know," in a very Leila like tone I turn to face him, "beat it out of me." I walk out of his office and very harshly tell Miss. Gates that I'm back in the office and to put my calls through.

I sit in my chair, head on my desk trying to regain my composure. It's been days and I'm not even sure I should be this mad. He didn't necessarily say he was thinking about Leila while f**king me, just that he had to think about beating me to find release. There is the fact that he wanted me to be her though, to submit myself to his every desire. I hate that bitch, she knew exactly what she was doing. I hear another ping of my email and ignore it. If Christian wants to talk to me, he can come in here and talk. I lift my head, expecting Christian to casually walk in here like nothing was wrong but, there was no sign of him. I peek through the glass to look at him but he isn't in his office. I pick up my phone and call Miss. Gates.

"Miss. Gates, put me through to Mr. Grey."

"I'm sorry Mrs. Grey, Mr. Grey stepped out already."

"I thought his schedule was clear until one?"

"Yes, his schedule was cleared twenty minutes ago."

"Ok, thanks." I hang up and open my email.

From: Christian Grey

Subject: Leaving Early

Date: November 15, 2028 11:34am

To: Anastasia Grey

Mrs. Grey

I have left the office for the rest of the day. Sawyer will collect you at five.

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.

From: Anastasia Grey

Subject: Where Did You Go?

Date: November 15, 2028 11:46am

To: Christian Grey

Mr. Grey

I hope you haven't left work to sulk. You don't have the right to be angry right now.

CEO, Grey Publishing

I look at my email expecting an instant reply but, nothing. He's too busy to email me back? I look at my phone and there are no missed calls. The end of the day Sawyer is waiting and I anticipate Christian to be sitting in his normal seat near me, but he isn't there.

"Have you seen Christian today?"

"Yes."

"Well?"

"Ana, you know I'm not supposed to say anything."

"Luke, I'm not asking you as an employer. I'm asking you as a concerned wife and dear friend. Where is he?" He looks at me through the review mirror and weighs the information out for a minute.

"He took the day off, he picked up Theodore and Phoebe and went out on the boat."

From: Christian Grey

Subject: Giving You Some Space

Date: November 15, 2028 5:30pm

Mrs. Grey

I took the children out on the boat, Teddy and Bee are practicing their sailing. I could tell by your mood earlier that you were in no need of person(s) company. I hope you use this time to reflect on your mood and are more willing to speak upon our return.

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.

I just about scream in the car and dial Kate, I convince her to drop my beloved nieces and nephew with their grandparents and take the Seattle night with me. She is more than willing and I meet her at a local bar. Apparently Christian and I aren't the only relationship that needs mending. Kate tells me all about Elliott's change of behavior lately, becoming paranoid and giving her no room to be her independent free spirit. I can tell by Sawyers cringe that Christian got a hold of him. Kate and I cheers to security and over protective husbands. Then we cheer to children who fight one another, dishes, laundry, maids, long work hours, the Seattle moonlight, the rain, the alcohol, the bartender, the stranger in the booth next to us, we cheer everything in sight and take a shot or two in between our drunken slurred toast.

With alcohol fueling my generosity I stand up on our table waving my black card in the air, "If you aren't happy, here's to you," my words are slurred and I'm spilling my drink everywhere, "drinks on me!"

An hour passes, Kate and I have managed to turn the bar into a night club. People are dancing everywhere, I feel arms around me, thrusting hips against my backside. I'm too consumed in my drink to care, thrusting my hips back, I'm dancing with a stranger, letting my body disconnect with what was once territory to only Christian Grey. My arms reach back, wrapping around the strangers neck, I see Kate on the bar, swirling her hips, men wide eyes and mouth open at her seductive moves. The next few moments happen so fast but so slow. I feel the man behind me getting violently pulled away from me. Christian? I turn and Sawyer is punching the man in the face, yelling profanities and telling him not to touch me. He grabs my arm forcefully and walks toward Kate, in one graceful movement, my best friend is being man handled by my security. I laugh at the site, Kate hanging off his shoulder like a beach towel. She's no longer carefree, our drinks lighting a fire under her as she kicks and screams at him. I can't help but burst out laughing.

I wake up and let my eyes adjust to the sun. The light burns my eyes, my head is cloudy and I'm trying to remember what happen. Flashes of last night replay in my head like a broken movie. I remember the stranger, Kate dancing, people cheering, that stranger, his arms are around my waist, our hips moving sexually to the noise playing through the speakers. Oh no, what did I do? I look over and Kate is laying next to me, she looks like she fought off death. I turn my head and see the ibuprofen and orange juice. I take two and shake Kate awake, she jumps up and looks around.

"Holy shit Grey, I feel like hell."

"You look worse, there's some ibuprofen over there." I nod toward the night stand.

"What happen last night?"

"I think we might have drank too much." She stops, trying to remember.

"Is your husband here? I need to eat something. How does someone wake up still tipsy? I have to call Ethan, I'm sure he's going crazy." Her words are slightly slurred and I can tell her thoughts are scattered.

We take turns in the shower and I give Kate some clothes, thinking we were alone, we walk downstairs, grabbing random house items for support, knocking somethings down. We definitely drank too much. We make our way through the living area and hear four men speaking, voices full of rage. Kate and I freeze in the living room, we slowly start tip toeing back toward the stairs.

"Anastasia. Your not going to join us for lunch?" My heart stops, Kate looks at me and I know she's wondering if Elliott is there.

"Hey babe, you must be famished. Trust me, you don't want me to walk in there and get you." Elliott's voice is trying and failing at masking his anger.

I can almost hear Kate's heart pounding through her chest, she grabs my hand and we straighten our back, trying not to seem intimidated and slowly walk in the kitchen. Taylor, Sawyer and our husbands are looking at us, mouths in a grim line, plates of food in front of them. I walk over, looking nobody in the eyes, reach for the plate and turn to sit at the breakfast bar, head down, eyes at my food, Kate takes a second and finally gains the courage to grab her plate and sits next to me.

"We heard you had a good night last night." Christians voice is controlled. "Anastasia, no comment?" I feel my throat dry, all eyes except Kate on me.

"What the fuck were you thinking Katherine?!" Elliott's voice is like explosions in my ears, my head can't handle the volume as I cringe. "Do you even know what you did last night?!" He's beside Kate, dropping security stills of Kate dancing on the bar, a mans hand on her thigh. I realize now that their gaping mouths weren't at her dancing, it was at the view up her skirt. Our faces blush. "I hope you at least got paid for that show!" I feel that darkness in me as his word surges through my veins. How dare he.

"What exactly are you trying to say Elliott?!" I'm out of my chair, facing him. My head is throbbing and my sudden movement makes me dizzy and I reach for the table for balance.

"I don't want to hear your mouth Anastasia, your behavior was just as disgusting!" He drops down stills of me dancing with the stranger. I can't help but be relieved that he was decent looking, young. One of his arms were wrapped completely around me, a hand on my thigh, the other; I gasp at the picture and lift it closer to my eyes, no, how did I not feel him on me?! Touching my breast?! I'm appalled at myself and I sink down in my chair, moving my plate and trying to take deep breaths. I feel the vomit burning my throat. What was I thinking?! Christian and Elliott spend the next hour telling us how bad things could have gotten if Sawyer wasn't there. Christians voice was too calm, I know he'll let his rage out when we are to ourselves. Can I blame him? No, I don't think so. Elliott finally calms down and tears are streaming down Kate's face. I look at Elliott's face but there's no sympathy, he walks out of the kitchen and into the living room. Christian sits on the other side of me, he looks down at the photo and flips it over. I want to look up, apologize but I don't. I'm fighting back tears and Christian gently picks up my hand, kisses the back and wipes a fallen tear from my cheek. He kisses my forehead, "thank you for taking Sawyer with you." He pushes my plate back in front of me. "Please Ana, finish your lunch." He walks out with Taylor and Sawyer to join Elliott. I can hear him still complaining to Christian. His voice is filled with disgust, the thought that his very intoxicated wife showed her most private parts to a group of strange men at a bar. Kate is still crying, sniffling, trying to stomach her food. I grab Kate in a hug and we sit, crying, repulsed at our behavior.

After a moment, we finally gain our composure, heat up our food again and finish our lunch. We both know it's time to face the men, apologize for our behavior and thank Sawyer for stopping it before it got worse. When we walk out Elliott has finally calmed down and Kate walks over to him, he turns his head and stands up, "I can't look at you right now, I need to go for a drive," and with that, he walks out of the room. My heart breaks, Kate tries to hold back her tears as she runs up the stairs. I look at Christian, I know I need to apologize but my friend needs me, he nods, knowing exactly what I'm thinking. Before I run after her I grab Luke in a hug.

"Thank you, thank you so much for stopping everything. I can't begin to imagine what could have happen last night." He gives me a sympathetic smile and I run upstairs to Kate, she's on my bed, sobbing, her body's shaking and she finally looks up to me.

"Oh Ana, what did I do!? How could I be so stupid?"

"No Kate, it was my fault. I was so mad at Christian, I just wanted to lash out. I'll talk to Elliott." I sit next to her, holding her hand.

"Ana, you didn't make me stand on that bar. I wanted to lash out too... like a child, I wanted to lash out." We shake our heads, embarrassed at our behavior.

"Hey, you know, Christian probably bought the bar just so he could close it down. I can hear him now," in my best Christian like voice I straighten my body mocking his behavior, pointing my finger, "You didn't stop my wife, I ruin your business!" We laugh at my impression and we finally get a chance to talk. It's been so long, we laid in bed most of the day, talking about life, our careers, the Hyde incident. I even tell her about Christian.

"Oh Ana, I'm sure he wasn't thinking about Leila, just her obedience. It must be so hard for him, he didn't need to control his life for so long because let's face it, you guys got lucky with some pretty perfect kids. They conformed to his way of life without ever needing to be told to. I mean, he's so desperate to keep you guys safe from everything, everybody and now, he's not sure he can do that. It's like when you got pregnant. He was so out of his element, he's still the man you fell in love with Ana. C'mon Grey, you know he doesn't want Leila." She stops and a bemused look crosses her face, "he really got rid of that room?" I nod at her, "that doesn't show you how much he loves you? He's had that room for so long, that room is the only constant thing in his life. He knows that no matter what happens in his life, that room will always be where he can remain master of his own universe and Ana, he gave it up for the sake of you."

My mind is trying to wrap around everything Kate said, she's right. He gave it up for me, because at the end of the day, Christian will protect me from everything, including himself. He told me so many times. Who would have thought, Kate is reassuring me of Christians love despite what I told her about Leila, I laugh at the idea.

She looks at me surprised at my sudden outburst. "Your losing it Grey."

"Who would have thought it'd be you to remind me how much Christian loves me." We both laugh and continue talking.

It's been hours and Christian finally walks upstairs, leaning against the door frame. "Elliott and the kids are here, they brought reinforcements." We look at him confused. "The whole family is here." We look over at the clock on the wall, holy crap, a little after five.

"I should check on my husband," Kate is about to leave when she stops and looks at Christian. "I'm sorry about last night. I promise you, what happen yesterday, will never happen again." He nods and gives her a genuine smile, she walks pass him and Christian holds his hand out for me.

"Christian?"

"Ana, we will talk later. Right now we have a family to see, the kids have been asking for you all day."

The evening was perfect, Carrick, Ethan and Elliott arguing about how to BBQ, Christian wrapped around me, talking to Grace about business and Kate and Mia in a serious conversation away from the family.

"Are you guys ok?" Grace says with a mothers worry.

"Of course mother, why do you ask?"

"The kids were telling me about a night out on the water, without their mother. Teddy might have mentioned some tension?"

"Nothing we can't get through together." Christian kisses my shoulder and tightens his grip on my waist.

The food finally finishes and we sit together, laughing and enjoying this precious time. Carrick and Grace bring up Thanksgiving and we start making plans, everybody having different ideas of how the day is supposed to go, we all agree Mia and Grace do the big cooking while Kate and I share responsibility on the smaller things. We realize there's a lot more people than we initially guess and decide to move dinner from Christian and I's place to Carrick and Grace's home. The kids all eat and fall asleep in the living room to a new movie and we decide to let them stay the night. Elliott and Kate decide to stay in the spare room and we say our good nights to everybody else. I want to talk to Christian so bad but, Kate grabs me into the library and we talk until we fall asleep on the couch. I wake up when I feel someone lifting me up and I look into Christian's gray eyes.

"I cant sleep another night without you, Kate will be fine." For the first time in a week, Christian and I sleep together. His arms blanketing me in the familiar safety and comfort I've missed so much. It should have been a perfect night, but that night keeps replaying in my head, "Anastasia, I wanted to break you." Even in my sleep, that darkness begins to rise.


	12. Chapter 11

***AUTHORS NOTE* **

_I'm back! It's been almost a year and I haven't written, things got really crazy for me and I'm so sorry! I hope people will forgive me and I promise I wont be gone for that long again. I do have so much planned for this story and I absolutely want to see it through. Hang in there with me guys, the best is yet to come! _

**Chapter Eleven**

I shoot out of my sleep, anger seething through my veins. My breathing is irregular and I have the urge to push Christian out of the bed. I turn to the clock, 3:12. What's happening to me? I have to get up, move, distract my mind. I slowly move out of bed, throw some sweats on and head for the stairs. I hear talking and stop mid track.

"Why the fuck are you calling me right now?! No, I'm not leaving my house to get you. Jesus Melissa, I told you I don't do relationships. We had an agreement, no feelings, no emotions. I don't need the distraction... What? Of course it's you! …...Melissa, you and I don't have a future together. Stop calling me."

I hear Teddy throw down his phone, mumbling more profanities as his steps get closer to the door; I should hurry downstairs but his behavior caught me off guard. I'm frozen to my spot, his cold behavior reminded me of how Christian dealt with Leila so long ago. 'I don't do relationships.' I shiver at his words.

"Anastasia?" I turn to face Christian, his head is cocked to the side and he's slightly confused. "What are you doing?"

"I was going to check on Kate, I just wanted to make sure she was ok."

"I'm sure she is, we both know if Kate wanted you, she'd have half the mind to come up here and get you."

I know he's right, I laugh at the thought of Kate creeping into the bedroom, convincing me to go downstairs with her; sneaking me through the house like teenage girls defying their fathers. Christian looks at me confused again, I really should learn to control these outburst of laughter. I feel slightly better, the anger turned to concern for the poor girl on the phone. I lay down trying to convince my body that it's sleepy, I can't help but think about last weekend. I turn to face Christian and he's staring back at me; I'm all of a sudden overcome with emotion and tears start involuntarily rolling down my face. He sits up, alert, slightly confused and pulls me to his lap.

"Ana, baby what's wrong?"

"Oh, Christian there's been so much going on. I feel so disconnected from you. I'm so worried about what's going on with Hyde, I can't stop thinking about last weekend-"

"Please, let me explain."

"Christian there isn't much to explain. You said everything you need to."

"No, Please. I'm not trying to justify my actions, just explain what they meant." I nod at him, bracing myself for another heart break. "I didn't think about Leila when I was with you. I only had to think about severely causing you physical pain to be satisfied. I never thought about sexually being with her Ana. I need you to know that. I don't want anybody but you, I've never wanted to be with anybody but you."

"Christian, you said you thought about her."

"Ana, with everything that's been happening. All the unanswered questions, I saw something I would be able to control. I mean for Christ sake Anastasia, even in the bedroom you've found your independence. Seeing you tied up, you were finally unable to fight back. I made the decisions, I decided how fast, how hard. I wanted, for just a brief second, I wanted to be able to control you the way I was able to control my subs. Seeing Leila in the room, looking at someone who wanted nothing more than to meet my demands..." He shook his head, completely disgusted with himself. "He took over, that monster inside me, he's still in me Anastasia; after all these years, I thought I beat those demons but I didn't.

His eyes are dark, filled with unexpressed emotions, I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him to me. I try to find comforting words but I can't stop thinking about that darkness inside me. That darkness is fueled by him, it rises and falls with him.

"You've already broken me." The words come out a whisper, unexpected to the both of us, he holds me away from him, I don't understand his facial expression. Horror?

"What did you say?"

"There's this darkness inside me Christian. I feel it, it consumes me like a wild fire in the deepest most unexplored part of my being. It wanted to beat the shit out of Leila that day in the office, it wants to kill Hyde and it's pulling me away from you." Everything inside me is telling me to stop talking. To leave it at that but, the confession is new to me. My mind is blank but my lips are speaking a truth I didn't know existed, "It hates you for making me weak but, it is you. That room, seeing you talk to Leila, your old relationship with Elena, those repressed feelings from so long ago have been hiding, waiting to surface. It's all because of you, the day I walked out of your life. We should have ended there, everything told me to run and never look back. As soon as I came back to you, the seed was planted. A monster created, for the beast that is you." The words hang in the air, Christian doesn't seem like he's breathing and his eyes are watering, tears desperate to escape but being forced still. I reach out to touch him but he pulls back. He slides me off his lap and stands up, looking at me. He opens his mouth to speak but words fail him, I stand and reach out for him but he steps back again. I step forward and quickly touch his chest, he cringes. Oh no! We look at each other, shocked at his bodies reaction. No, I try to touch him again but his body tightens, eyes filled with panic as he grabs my wrist.

"Anastasia please. I can't bare your touch right now."

My heart stops, a thousand things running through my head. I don't understand, how could he cringe at my touch, I'm his wife! The blood is starting to boil, the light dimming. I look at him and he steps back again. I hear him calling my name but I'm losing all senses. How dare he? With everything we've been through. I feel his hand back on my wrist, then the heat of his skin under my palm. His breathing irregular, panting. My mind tries to regain it's focus and I look at Christian, he's desperate to bring me back; do I want to come back? My name out of his lips snap me back, focus clear and the darkness is gone. I look at him, blinking, confused at my bodies impulse to change at his every reaction. I hear Christian talking but my mind is trying to make sense of my new found emotions.

"Ana I'm sorry. I didn't know you felt that way. How could you feel that way? Is it true? I did that to you? How can you be with me?" I put my finger to his lips, I can't focus on what he's saying and try to explore my emotions. Everything I said was true, wasn't it? Maybe the darkness has always been there, maybe it just took Christian and everything that has happen to bring it out. I need to sort these feelings but I can't help but think about Christian, pulling away from me. I reach out to touch him again, he's calm, relaxed.

"It was an initial reaction to what you said, that it's Ana."

"Christian I need to sort these feeling out." I lean away from him and crawl off the bed, he runs over and grabs my arm.

"Where are you going?"

"I just need to figure things out and I can't do that here, with you."

"I came in like a wrecking ball!"

I've been listening to a very drunk and slurred version of Miley Cyrus for the last hour and half and I'm not sure Kate is going to stop anytime soon. It's been a couple of days and we have to get back to Seattle tonight. Taylor will be picking us up and I'm really hoping Kate sobers up by the time we get back home. Elliott hasn't talked to her since I kidnapped her into coming out to Olympia and according to Kate, there's been a lot wrong. There were rumors that Elliott was at a restaurant with a younger woman and some very old pictures of Elliott and a male friend walking out of a cheap motel appeared. I've been the worst possible friend to her lately, so stuck with my own issues that I didn't see how broken she's become. These past few days reminded me of why she was my best friend, despite her own issues she still had time to make sense of this inner darkness that I'm battling. Christian is the light, I didn't see it but Kate was right; that inner darkness has always been there and as soon as Christian started calling me, I came back. I just can't help but think that it's more than that, like I created that darkness because I subconsciously knew that it was the only way I could be with Christian. The knock on the door distracted me from my thoughts and I got up, checked the peep hole and opened the door to let Taylor in.

"The ride was ok?"

"Yes, is she ok?"

I turned around to see Kate singing into the mop while whirling around the living. I just shrugged and started some tea for Taylor and I, I'm anxious to know what Christian and the kids have been up.

"Christian has been good, there's been a lot of people over to decorate the house for thanksgiving. The kids miss you but, they've been staying busy. Teddy asked Christian if he could bring a lady friend over for the holiday."

"What? Who?"

"I believe he said her name was Brielle."

"What kind of name is that?"

"Ana! I hope your a lot nicer when you meet her."

Taylor and I talked for about an hour, he filled me in on all the Thanksgiving details and everything he knew about Christian and the problems we've been having. By the time Kate finally passed out, we already had the car packed and were heading back home to Seattle. I must have fell asleep because the hour and half drive seemed like a 15 minute ride. I could barely keep my eyes open when we made it to the house, Elliott was there and I could see the happiness and relief in his eye when he picked Kate up and walked her into the house. Christian and Teddy came out and greeted me with big hugs and kisses, I missed my baby boy so much. I was all of a sudden wide awake when I asked Teddy about Brielle, he shrugged the question off with a simple, 'she's just a friend' statement and retired in his room for the night. I can tell Christian wanted to do something other than sleep and I'm not sure I'm too tired to say no. I didn't realize how badly I missed his touch, his body against mine, his lips against mine and his scent. That perfect mixture of cologne, soap and Christian; he swept me off my feet and into the bedroom, closing the door behind us and laying me gently on the bed.

"I missed you Anastasia and I have a gift for you." I raised my eyebrows in curiosity as he pulled out a box from under the bed.

"What is it?" He pulled out a blindfold and placed it around my head covering my eyes.

"Don't talk unless I tell you to, do you understand?"

I bit my lip in anticipation and nodded my head yes. I could feel the soft cushion of the restraints as he locked me in, my heart was beating faster as he flipped me over and locked my ankles into a spreader bar, my butt was in the air and my legs were forced open, exposing my anus and sex to him. The familiar feel of the flogger slowly caresses my inner thighs and then my clitoris, making me wet and needing him; I moan as he softly flicks the flogger against me, a little sting followed pure pleasure.

"Do you want more Ana?" I stay quiet, "good girl, now answer me."

"Yes."

"Yes, who?"

"Yes, sir."

He spanks me with the flogger one last time before kneeling down and taking my vulva between his lips, gently sucking as I moan louder. I want to say his name, tell him to give me more but I refrain. His hand smacks down on my left cheek and then slides down as he slips two fingers inside me, I jerk forward, surprised and then excited. Yes Christian, this is what I need. I feel his tongue circling my clitoris as his hands push in and out of me faster, deeper; my body is building and moans are getting louder.

"Ah, Christian I'm going to cum!"

"What did I tell you Ana?"

He smacks my ass one last time and then sits up and with one swift motion he forces himself inside me, I scream with pleasure as he forces himself inside me again and again. I can tell he need this as much as I do, his hand smacking my ass once more and I can no longer hold my orgasm. My body shakes around him but he doesn't stop, I can tell he nowhere near finished with me and I can't wait to see what he has in stored for my body.

"Yes Ana, give me your orgasm baby." He voice is breathy as he pumps inside me deeper, harder than before. I look back to see him reach into the box again and pulls out a slim dildo, I nod with approval as he slows down and slowly slides the dildo into my anus. My head tilts back and my body is in ecstasy, welcoming both sensations; Christian is huffing now, moaning as his manhood gets drenched in my juices, he slides out and sticks his tongue inside me licking and slurping as much of me as he can. Everything he's doing is exactly what my body needs and I can't help but orgasm again, around his mouth; he quickly sits back up and in one last thrust I feel his hot seaman inside me, dripping out and down my sex. He doesn't hesitate to slide the dildo out of me and take my hands and ankles out of the restraints, I roll on my back and wipe myself with my hand and lick his juices off of it.

"Anastasia, don't tell me your already ready for a round two."

"Mr. Grey, I'm not sure if you, what word am I looking for? Up, for it right now."

I bite my lip to suppress a laugh and slowly open my legs, moving my hand down to slowly rub myself using his left over lubricant on my clit as my other hand plays with my already harden nipples. It doesn't take him long before he's up and inside me, I'm glad to say Christian gave me just the right amount of love and kinky fuckery that night.

"Hi, Mrs. Grey I'm Brielle, everybody calls me Bri though. Teddy has told me so much about you?"

"Has he? Please, come inside and you can let me know what wonderful things my son says behind my back."

We laugh as Teddy and I escort Bri into the great hall where friends and family have all come out to celebrate the festivities. The decorations are incredible and Mia has really outdone herself with the Thanksgiving Day meal; I've been sneaking pieces of ham and turkey all day, I'm not sure I'll be able to eat lunch. I look around and am filled with so much love and appreciation but also, I my heart is breaking. This will be my first Thanksgiving since having Teddy that my mom wont be here and although I get by every day sometimes, something will happen that makes me wish even more than normal that she was here; today was one of those days. I push the thoughts away and join my family in love, laughter, and great conversation. Today, despite how much I miss my mother, I'll stay strong and happy because, that's what my kids, my husband and my family deserve.

"Today couldn't have gone any better and Mia, that meal! Perfecto!"

"Thank you, mom and Gail helped a lot. You and Kate are ok, right?"

"Yea, things are getting better I think."

Mia and I are putting away the last bit of dishes when I realize I've been even more disconnected with her than I have been with anybody else.

"Christian! Christian get out here!"

That voice, no it can't be. I drop the dish I was drying and run out into the living room. The kids are downstairs in the game room and I already see Christian and Taylor heading to the front door. I hear Carrick telling me to stand back but I push myself past Taylor and Christian and throw open the door to see an intoxicated Leila standing on my front lawn. How the hell did she find out where we live and even more importantly, who else knows where we live?

"Ana! My more beautiful doppelganger, I-" she stammers a little and drops her bottle, "my bad, I have a gift for you Mrs. Grey!" Leila reaches behind her back and lifts a gun at me, "what do you have that I don't?"

Before anybody can react, the gun goes off and I can barely hear Christian as he screams my name; panicked, tortured, desperate, his voice is trailing further and further.


End file.
